the ramblings of a mommy

hard to believe

2009-11-11T13:47:00.002-06:00

it is hard to believe that christmas is right around the corner. my christmas cards should arrive today, i ordered them off snapfish this weekend. they are going to be precious, my favorite ones we have had so far! i have to mail some of them as soon as i get them, as it will take around 4-6 weeks for my family in europe to get theirs. i guess i will wait to mail the rest of them till around the first of december.
it is hard to believe that my daughter is almost halfway through her first year at middle school. some of her former closest friends dont come around as much. they are still friends, no worries, just finding new friends as well. lots of new friends have been coming over, which is great too. we must always cherish our friends. and thankfully, she hasnt brought home any friends that have caused me any alarm. she got in a great group of classes surrounded by tons of great kids and has great teachers. they teachers even say they are having a great year. wonderful! about a month or so ago, a couple of 20 something year old girls from church took lacee and a friend to the movies. sitting right behind them was a girl from lacee's class, with a boy, kissing. they werent pg-rated kissing either. lacee was shocked and thought it was gross. i dread the day that it isnt gross anymore.
it is hard to believe that mark anthony is 4 years old. that he could potentially go to kindergarten next year. i havent made my mind up on that one yet, i will wait to see what his preschool teacher says she thinks is best for him. financially, him going to kindy would be great b/c its free. but i will not rush my children to school just to save a dollar. (well, lots of dollars). he is so smart. he is such a boy. wild and hyper and unable to be still very long at home or church or anywhere basically with mom and/or dad, yet perfectly still, attentive and eager to learn at school and in sunday school.
it is hard to believe that tommy is already 2. he is flirting with potty training. he is gaining more and more vocabulary so fast. he is so sweet, so passionate when he is happy. so angry when he is angry. he thinks he is as big as his brother and his sister, and gets upset when he cant do what he wants. he also loves going to school and church. he has no desire to be quiet during church, and i wonder when or if that will change.
it is hard to believe that mark and i will have been married 8 years in less than a month. 8 years! thats a long time. its been a wonderful 8 years! has every day been rosy, no. but more of them have been rosy than stinky. i am blessed to have him as a husband, my children blessed to have him as a daddy.
it is hard to believe that money stinks as bad as it does. 8 years and we still are not where we need to be. no savings. no extra. still robbing peter to pay paul so to speak. its true, our budgeting skills are not the greatest, but we do not blow money. we have amazingly low rent for our home (that we plan to buy within 2 years), we have light bill, water bill, cellphone bill, tv/internet bill, 1 vehicle payment (we didnt have a vehicle payment for almost 2 years till my van broke), groceries, gas, childcare, and tons of doctor bills. and a bank note on a consolodation loan from several years ago. thats it. no furniture payments, no stereos, appliance, credit cards, 4 wheelers, boats, etc. we havent been on a vacation in 7 years. its depressing. now i know money and things are not the most important things in the world. our family has each other, love, God, and all the basics we need. yet i long for the day when we dont have to wait for the next paycheck to be able to pay the rent or the lights. when our children ask for a certain jacket or shoes that we are able to get them for them if we choose to.
it is hard to believe that my mom will be 60 soon. in 9 days actually. wow. we arent as close as we were when she turned 50, but we are closer than we were when she turned 58 or 59. i miss the days when we were super close, but i am happy for the progress we are making.
it is hard to believe that my daddy has been dead for 12 years. i miss him terribly. i wish he could meet mark and my kids. i know he will someday.
it is hard to believe that marks daddy is also gone, he has been gone 7 years. he loved lacee, and we know he would have loved the boys too. he will meet them someday. i wonder if he and my daddy watch us together.
it is hard to believe that marks mom is in the nursing home, and that she has been there for over a year now. she went from being able to drive, shop, cook, etc to being a complete victim of alzheimers and dementia in 3 months, and now it is hit or miss that she knows who mark is when he goes to visit.
it is hard to believe that i have family in europe i still havent met. my mom reunited with her siblings after 50+ years (she was adopted). they all live in europe. 5 in germany, 1 in spain, and 1 in turkey. mom went to germany in 2006 and met everyone. i have meet the ones that have came here. first was karl-heinz, my uncle. he came in 2005. then came my aunt heidi and her husband willi. they came in 2007, the day tommy was born actually. this past summer, my aunt brigetta and my uncle's wife uri came. i still have not met peter, helmut, willi, or monica. nor have i met any of the kids and grandkids. i priced round trip airfare for my family and my mom and its over $10,000. it doesnt look like we will be going anytime soon.
it is hard to believe that we will soon, not sure how soon, but soon, be getting to see marks neices and meeting their children. they live in georgia and we havent spoken to them in 7 years, give or take a possible hello once or twice. andrea and i have been talking alot on facebook, and have enjoyed one phone call this week. she calls me aunt gretchen, and i love that. andrea and rebekah are 28, twins from marks half sister, who is 19 years older than him. the age makes me feel like they should be my sister in laws. but they can call me aunt gretchen and we can laugh and cut up like the sisters i never had.
it is hard to believe when blessings come from the most unexpected of sources. thats how God likes it, i suppose. we had a communication breakdown with the director of the boys preschool with regards to a possible scholarship and ended up with a 2 month balance we could not pay. we had to pull the boys out of school for a month, they finally went back this week and were so excited! having them cry to go to school was heart breaking. the balance is not paid in full, but a wonderful lady, a friend i met only last year, is helping us with it. i did not ask her for help, she seen me crying one day picking up mark anthony (the school allowed him to go on a field trip one day during the month) and she asked me what was wrong. i told her, and she insisted on helping. i am so grateful to her. i dont have the right words for her, i just pray that someday we will be able to help someone in the same situation.
its hard to believe that after the mistakes i made in middle school, high school and the year that followed that God has blessed me with the life i have now. i have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, a job i love, and a promised land beyond my widlest expections. and that is hard to believe too because my imagination can run pretty wild!

unexplainable

2009-11-11T13:16:00.003-06:00

ever have one of those days where you just dont understand anything about yourself?
i pretty much live in one of those days. i have a friend, she has been my friend longer than any friend i have had, or at least we have been really close for longer than i have been with anyone else. today some high school kids were prank calling people, everyone was throwing random names and numbers at them. so i said hey, call my friend so and so. so they did. they werent doing silly "you're refrigerator is running" calls, they werent doing nasty breathing calls, no fake pizza orders. more like those you hear on the radio, like a "you've been punked" kind of call. sadly, my friend believed them and didnt think it was funny. its been 3 hours now, and i still havent talked to her. i have sent 2 texts and left a voicemail. it was stupid, i know. but i never meant to upset her. i never thought it would. especially not when she found out it was a prank. but i was wrong. and i am sorry.
so i wonder, why do i do stupid things? why do i always ruin things that are good? what is wrong with me? why cant i just be smart enough not to do crap that brings on more crap? i wish i was like that. its things like this i hate about myself. i am not a bad person, i dont think i am anyway. but i have this habit of screwing things up. and its never over anything that i would think to be serious enough to cause a screw up. the prank was so far from her character i never thought she would believe it. but thats not the point. the point is i am an idiot and am too stupid to realize it. i guess thats the true proof. too stupid to know you are stupid. that would be me.

biblical parenting

2009-09-29T14:13:00.003-05:00

i dont copy and paste each one of these tips i get in my email to my blog. i get one or two a week. but there are some that are just too good not to. here are a few of them.

Parenting Tip

September 28, 2009

Three Ideas for Good Communication

Learn How to Start
The way you present an issue often determines the response. Sometimes it’s best to address a problem immediately, while other times waiting a few hours is more appropriate. Wisely choose a time, place, and approach with the goal of not just rebuking, but correcting, and finding resolution. "Lisa, I'd like to talk about the way you treated me earlier. Is now a good time or should we talk after dinner?"

Learn When to Stop
Once a dialogue has developed, have discernment to know when to stop. Some parents feel like they must win an argument or come to resolution by the end of the conversation so they end up pushing too hard. Other times emotions get too involved. Still other parents end a simple correction with preaching, bringing up the past, or making exaggerated statements about the offense.

In any case, it’s important for parents to know when to take a break or simply stop the conversation. "I think we better stop here. Things are getting pretty tense. We need to continue this conversation, but let's take a break for now. Maybe we'll think of some other ideas in the meantime to help resolve this problem." Learning when to stop during conflict is a very important skill.

Learn How to Listen
Conflict represents opportunity. Children watch parents handle conflict and observe how they resolve differences. Listening and affirming a young person’s thinking is an honoring step in conflict management.

“I understand you'd discipline your sister differently. Your ideas make sense. At this point, I have to make the decision and I’m going to emphasize something different, but I appreciate your ideas.” Affirming or validating a child's thinking or reasoning is helpful for their development.

As you dialogue with your kids, you must learn to tolerate criticism. Many discussions you have will open the door for your teen to criticize you. Don't feel threatened or take these jabs personally. Use them to discuss issues and explain your decisions. If you can be transparent enough to use yourself as an example, your children will learn much more about life.

This parenting tip is taken from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. It's a book about honor and talks about how we treat one another inside and outside the family.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

Parenting Tip

September 17, 2009

Should We Protect Them?

Should I protect my kids from the pain and bad influences of the world or should I let them learn what the world is all about?

It's a good question and the answer is that we do both. Sometimes outside influences undermine the very lessons we're trying to teach our children. Kids imitate others and are sometimes easily drawn into foolishness and negative behavior patterns. Poor role models teach poor responses to conflict, angry reactions to disappointment, and bad attitudes of various kinds. Many children are easily drawn in to inappropriate actions and thinking patterns.

Although protection can be helpful for a period of time, it's also productive to have children see the contrast between their family and those that are falling apart. Furthermore, when your children can take a stand for what's right, others benefit and so do they.

Each child is different and the key questions have to do with character. Is your child responsible? We like to define responsibility as doing what's right even when no one is watching. Can your child take a stand for righteousness even under pressure? If not, then maybe allowing too much freedom too early will hinder instead of help the child's growth and maturity.

Of course, as children become more responsible and mature, they can help others who aren't. Many people lack the basic skills that your children are learning. When they're ready, your kids can be great assets to others who are struggling. When making such important decisions you have to take each child's character into account. Don't measure maturity by age. Use character as your measuring stick.

This tip comes from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. It's a book about honor and talks about how we treat one another inside and outside the family.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

Parenting Tip

August 27, 2009

Teens Need Relationship

Getting physically close to your child is important when giving instructions, especially with teenagers. Teens need relationship whether they'll admit it or not. In fact, the stronger the relationship, the less likely you'll get resistance.

Sometimes young people resent having to share in the workload of running a household. You might hear them say something like, "My parents are always ordering me around. It's like I'm their slave." Of course that's not true, but when parents take time to show value for the relationship before giving instructions, they can build a greater sense of teamwork.

When teens can't see how instruction is related to relationship, they’re more likely to justify unkind words or dishonoring actions when they don't like what you've told them to do. They don't understand that obedience is a demonstration of love. Getting physically close makes a statement about who we are together. Face-to-face contact says, "I care about you."

By affirming your relationship in the midst of the instruction, you teach your children an important lesson about the way God relates to us. Spirituality isn't just a list of do's and don'ts, but it comes within the confines of relationship.

Alex, a father of three said it well, "I had a picture in my mind of a Father who yells instructions down from heaven. Distance and harshness characterized my view of God. It wasn't until I became a dad and I remembered how my parents treated me that I began to see the connection. I was viewing God from what I had learned in my family growing up. I work hard now to give instructions in a more relational manner. It's amazing how something as simple as giving and receiving instructions can give you a perspective of who God is and how he relates to us."

For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, order the book, "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids." To learn more about relating to teens, consider “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in You and Your Kids." Both of these books are authored by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

An Important Back to School Routine

Whether your children are in public school, private school, are homeschooled, you're likely getting into some new routines for the fall. We suggest an important part of any family routine is having a regular Family Night. For ideas about making sure your Family Night is fun and interactive, as well as spiritually nurturing, consider the Family Time Activities books. Click here to learn more.

• • • • •
Parenting Tip

August 24, 2009

Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive

Many parents see a problem and start giving instructions immediately. This often means that they yell across the parking lot or bark commands from the other side of the house. We believe this approach isn't the best. It's not enough to see the need and tell someone to respond to it. That approach doesn't demonstrate value for the relationship. Parenting isn't just about getting tasks done; it's about building relationships at the same time.

Start by getting close to your child. Most of the time this means that before you give an instruction you call your child over to you. This presents a problem in many young families because preschoolers often don't come when they're called. The fact is, even older children don't come when they're called unless they are taught to do so.

Take time to teach your children how to come when you call them. It takes practice but it's well worth the work. Parents often ask, "What do I do in the grocery store when I call my preschooler and he runs away?" Well, the grocery store isn't the place to practice. That's the final exam! By practicing over and over at home and at the park, children are then able to respond in public.

Like every step in a good instruction routine, getting close to each other requires changes from both child and parent. Children also find it tempting to yell across the house. Now children learn that dialogue only takes place when relationship has been established through eye contact and being physically close together. Sometimes it's the small things that demonstrate that a parent cares or that a child is willing to listen. Putting down the paper, looking up from the computer, or just turning to face your child before you speak communicates the importance of what you are about to say.

Some parents report major improvement in a child's responsiveness when they just implement this step and give instructions only when the child is within a few feet. Sometimes that little nonverbal statement about your relationship is all that's needed to gain a more cooperative attitude from your child.

And what if that doesn't work? Well, it's only the first step. Four more steps are yet to come and you can read about them in the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

Parenting Tip

August 20, 2009

An Indirect Approach to Sibling Conflict

One great way to challenge the sibling conflict problems in a household is to play games with your children. Games are miniature scenarios about real life. Whether you're playing a board game, a card game, or some kind of communication or role playing game, children have to use relational skills.

Playing games can teach children how to win, how to lose, how to show mercy, and how to talk humbly. As you play games with your children, model honor. Have fun and enjoy the game but avoid put downs, bragging, boasting, hurtful revenge, and meanness. That seems to be hard even for some parents these days.

Teach children how to win without being hurtful, how to lose without complaining, how to make a good move with humility, and show honor whether you're winning or losing. Kids need to see these things modeled in games so they can learn how to handle similar situations in life.

Choose your comments wisely as you correct or confront others who may not handle themselves well. You may let some things go, but your comments are important and children learn from the things you say.

You may see selfishness and bad attitudes demonstrate themselves. Look for loving ways to correct while still enjoying the game. Play games regularly and continue to look for ways to communicate honor and challenge dishonoring behavior and words. You'll be surprised at how much you can teach without your children even realizing they're in a classroom.

This tip comes from the chapter on teaching siblings to honor in the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

Parenting Tip

July 2, 2009

One of the Keys for a Successful Coaching Relationship with Your Child

One of the ways to help children learn from life is to become their counselor or coach. Life is a great teacher and when it dishes out its lessons, you, as a parent, have a great opportunity to support, encourage, and coach your child to learn from the experience.

The key is to express empathy and validate the pain or disappointment your child is experiencing. Then, you can gently move into a suggestion mode if needed. For example, when the cat scratches your four-year-old son who is playing rough, don't just launch into a lecture. Instead say something like, "Ouch, I'll bet that hurt. It looks like he doesn't like rough play does he?"

Or when your eight-year-old daughter is hungry before dinner because she refused to eat lunch you might say, "I'll bet you're hungry. That's a long time to go without food."

If you leave out the empathy and just move into a lecture mode, children may react poorly. They may view your approach as condescending or cold and respond with defensiveness, anger, or hostility. Empathy communicates love; while at the same time allows the child to accept responsibility for the problem.

Empathy is a primary ingredient for partnership. Empathy reveals understanding and care. Empathy validates the emotions a child is experiencing even though the actions that come out of those emotions may need correction. Demonstrating your love while your child learns from experience can be one of the best ways to teach children lasting lessons about life.

This parenting tip comes from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org

lost?

2009-09-29T14:00:00.003-05:00

no, i am not lost. though looking at my blog, i can certainly see why it would seem that i am. i am shocked to see that it has been since MAY that i have blogged. i guess you could look at my blog history and say that i do way better about my blogging during the winter months than the summer months. i have more time at home, more time to do "me" things.
we have had a great summer of 2009. its already over, officially even. school has been going on for 7 weeks. SEVEN! my babygirl is in MIDDLE SCHOOL! and i made it through that transition with no meltdowns. she got a great group of teachers and is surrounded by many old and a few new friends that are great influences. my boys are both at the same preschool, a huge convienience and time saver, and they love it! they see each other at breakfast and lunch, but thats about it. i am staying busy substituting, very busy thankfully.
summer brought midsouth youth camp, jr high youth group trip to cincinnati ohio, kids group trip to kentucky, a family/friends trip to point mallard, and lots of days to local playgrounds and parks. lacee had an activity every 4 days a week with the youth group, mark anthony had an activity at least every other week, and tommy is just along for the ride.
mark and i are doing great. his work is going well, my work is going well, and we are just enjoying life and each other and our kids. stress? no, its not gone. will it ever be? i guess not.
this week is actually an insane one. we are moving. we have found a place that seems so perfect for us and our family. the plan is to rent for 2 years, then purchase the home. tonight we will load the moving truck up with everything in our current house, except what we need for the night. tomorrow we will move everything out of the truck and into our new house. i will post before and after pictures soon, of course we have been painting and adding our taste to the house.
the kids are excited about the move. well, lacee is. mark anthony is excited at times and worried at times, he does not adjust to change very smoothly. i wouldnt say he has a problem with it, just that he isnt as "sitting on go" as lacee and i are. and again, tommy is just along for the ride. he is pretty much happy here, or there, or anywhere. mark and i? we are excited for it all to be done.

2009-05-16T21:48:00.002-05:00

i organized an end of the year celebration party for lacee and all of her classmates at north elementary. it is so hard to believe they will be in middle school next year. it was a lot of work, but was a ton of fun. not everyone in the 5th grade came, but well over half of them did.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

march snow

2009-03-16T22:07:00.002-05:00

how funny is it that as we celebrate the nice weather that only a few weeks earlier we were making snow angels in our front yard?!
we had some nice snow, for our area, a few weeks ago. the kids loved playing in it! well, tommy liked it until he fell face first in it, twice. then he was ticked and ready to go in. mark anthony and lacee had a blast in it...until they decided it was too cold. of course they arent used to having to keep those hoods and gloves and extra clothes on, they both kept trying to ditch the gloves and hats, then fussing when the snow got down in their shirts or up their sleeves! ha!
the snow was gone by the afternoon, but it was certainly nice while it lasted!

its almost spring!!!!!

2009-03-16T22:00:00.003-05:00

yay! today the weather was fairly nice!! the boys went to school, lacee home not feeling well. at noon mark and i walked 4 blocks. he has been walking everyday since his surgery, and this is the first time i have been able to join him. then this evening, we put the boys in the stroller and lacee joined us. our friends megan and tim also walked with us. we walked a full mile! i am not sore (yet..lets hope thats still true tomorrow!) and am proud of myself!!
after we got home the kids wanted to play outside. to nice to finally get to be out for awhile!! we are really looking forward to nice weather.

confused.....

2009-03-16T21:36:00.003-05:00

i am confused. i took lacee to the doc today for stomach pain. i figured it wasnt anything, but since the flu, strep throat, and stomach virus are running crazy here, (enough so that school was cancelled friday) i figured it was better to be safe than sorry. sure enough, it turns out she is ok. probably something she has ate that had hidden wheat in it. that and we are about to have another woman in the house. any day now.
but thats not what i am confused about. for about 2 or 3 school years now, but gradually getting worse, i have noticed that lacee is spacey. haha cute rhyme. but seriously, she has to be reminded constantly of the littlest things. tie your shoes, brush your teeth. things she has been doing all her life. she forgets her pencil for homework. she forgets her homework. she forgets to bring the text book that goes with the homework. she forgets her progress reports. she forgets her lunch. she forgets why she walked in the room. she forgets she was tieing her shoes, spaces out in the middle of the task. you get the idea. at first i thought it wasnt as bad as i thought, we moms can be harder on our own kids than we are on others.
but last sunday night she spent the night with chrissy. chrissy has been my best friend since we were 16-17 yrs old. her son is my "nephew" and my kids call her "aunt chrissy". we love each others children and want only the best for them. monday morning while getting the kids ready for school, she got a small taste of spacey lacee. she could see exactly what i see.
so today while at the doc i mentioned the spaceyness to her and asked about add meds. i am thinking that a small dose of attention helping meds might be good for lacee. i was given a paper for me to fill out and a paper for a teacher to fill out.
i texted one of her teachers, the one that has her the most, to let her know i was sending the paper tomorrow and if she could please fill it out and send it back to me or the doc. asked her if she thought it might help. she said lacee had no trouble focusing at school, she is one of the best in the class!! i explained to her what i see at home, and that i was schocked, happily, that lacee wasnt struggling at school.
so i guess i will go ahead and send the paperwok to the teacher, then meet with the doc next week with the answers of mine and the teachers papers. doc said they would also test her hearing, vision, and do either an eeg or ekg, not sure which she said.
i dont want to medicate my child if its not needed, but as middle school approaches closer and closer, i want to do everything to help her be the best lacee she can be.

police bashing?

2009-03-12T23:00:00.003-05:00

this is just a sample of common conversations. it was posted on facebook. i am deleting the names of those involved. the first one started, and i commented on it as i know two of the people involved in the conversation, A and S. the second conversation i started after the first one got under my skin!!i think they pretty much speak for themselves, these conversations, so no need to me to add anything else.

S is cant stand cops. 3:44pm ·
A at 3:46pm March 11
what'd ya do? haha
J at 3:46pm March 11
what did u do
S at 3:47pm March 11
nothing... but there jerks
A at 3:53pm March 11
truuuetrue. I was thinking maybe ya got a ticket.. haha
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 5:00pm March 11
oh hold up now!!! who exactly would you call if you were in a wreck or being robbed?? yep...those same people you fuss about are there to save your butts!!!
A at 5:49pm March 11
well now, I guess that's true Mrs Mitchell. they always seem to be waay late & awful timing though..
ohh wait, your husband.. haha =)
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 6:01pm March 11
but you gotta realize they can only come as fast as the call is made and the dispatcher gives them the call and the details and as soon as they get done with the call they are currently on as well.
plus, when there is only 2 or 3 of them to work the entire city or county....that doesnt leave enough to go around.
S at 1:07pm March 12
im talking about the one that have nothing better to do but to pull over kids as they drive in a parking lot
A at 1:17pm March 12
yeah, seems like cops here have nothing to do! Sorry, Mrs. Mitchell. :) hope your husbands not one of those cops.\
S at 1:18pm March 12
lol yeah srry miss gretchen
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 3:41pm March 12
lol from what i hear those kids fly into the city park like maniacs...not realizing there could be little kids walking over from those houses next door. the job of the police is to PROTECT people, not make people happy.
S at 4:16pm March 12
i got stoped goin 18 in a 15... other ppl were going 12 in a 15 and we got warnings... only 3 ppl o ticktes which ended up being warnings.... but my problem was there r billions of ppl doing drugs around this town and they cant stop them??? im not mad but i dont think the methods they took were right
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:19pm March 12but, the limit is 15 not 18. think of all the kids that live right there that could have been on that road going to play. and what do you think made the cops be there in the first place?? complaints from people who see it everyday.
and i agree...the drug problem here is terrible. rediculous. and whats more rediculous is that the way the laws are written, just knowing someone does it isnt enough...you have to have proof and you have to obtain that proof through insanely narrow ways.
A at 4:31pm March 12
I'm sorry Mrs. Gretchen. but maybe these cops should spend more time figuring out ways to catch these drug people. if they spent more time they'd get what they need for the insanely difficult way. it's not like they were going 30 or anything. it's was simply 3 over the speed limit. I'm sure there was much worse things going on in the small town of Savannah.
although I do understand there is kids there, 3 mph over I doubt makes a big difference.
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:40pm March 12
3 isnt much, i'll agree with that. but if 3 is ok, then why not 5? and if 5 is ok, then why not 10. you gotta have a limit somewhere.
and i could be very wrong, but i doubt they got stopped for only 3 over. i would guess they were either doing more, or doing other things such as running the stop sign, squealing tires, swerving all over the road, etc etc. and yes these are things i have done before and may even do again. but if i get caught i will put my big girl panties on and deal with it....and the lecture i will surely get when i arrive home.
matter of fact, i have to go to oakland in a few weeks for a speeding ticket i got.
now about the drugs....they can catch them all day long, but you also have to have a DA and lawyers and judges with the balls to make them pay for what they are doing, not slap them on the wrist and send them home. drug dealers are super smart people....they dont go down easy. one drug bust takes months, if not years, of planning.
it is not the cops place to write the laws or change them to make it so they can catch them the best way. if it was i can promise you this town would be a totally different place when i comes to drugs. its the congress and state reps and senators that do that. and most of them have never worked the streets to realize how assanine the laws they have passed really are.

Gretchen says: cops risk their lives for ungrateful people everyday! yet who do you call when you need help? the same people you whine about every other day!! 3:48pm ·
L at 3:52pm March 12
Wow, you are very passionate about that. Everything okay?
A at 3:59pm March 12
S & I, love youu.. =)
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:00pm March 12
yes. some baseball boys got pulled over and ticketed yesterday while flying into our city park, which is where they practice. another ball player posted his status that he cant stand cops and a couple others chimed in about how they are jerks, etc. so i am on a roll, posting to them and on here.
our city park sits right in the middle of a neighborhood filled with children, flying down that road is a disaster waiting to happen!!
i used to not understand cops either, til i married one. people just dont realize what they go through or their families go through, even in small towns. they walk out the door each day in their kevlar not knowing if they will make it home or not.
they arent paid peanuts for what they do, and most people dont even respect them or the laws they are there to enforce.
from what i hear, before practice was over those kids tickets were made into warnings, which does absolutely NOTHING to teach them any sort of responsibility whatsoever.
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:01pm March 12
a, i love you and s too. even when you push my buttons. =)
A at 4:04pm March 12
we're sorry.. we didn't mean to upset youu.
K at 4:10pm March 12
Well, they are still kids. They will grow up and look back on this, then realize they were jerks.
I have a "got drunk in the park and then thought the cops were mean to me for making me pour out the beer and then threatening to arrest me" story of my own. I was all indignant then, but now I realize what a fool I was.
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:13pm March 12
yep they are kids and i totally get it. i have a few stories of my own.
its ok a, i forgive you. =)
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:16pm March 12
the sad thing is that MORE people fuss about the cops than those that dont. so my rant isnt directed just at a or s or anyone in particular. i guess its directed at everyone. no one ever told me to look at the big picture either. i think society should do a better job of that.
M at 4:21pm March 12
Jeez, Gretchen.. you're such a badass.. this is why I love you :) haha
You remind me of myself when you get on these rampages.
Mark is my favorite cop by the way.
B at 4:26pm March 12
You are so right gretchen - when these kids grow up and have kids of their own - they will understand - these parents that had the tickets changed should make these kids get jobs and pay for them and their insurance - before they run over and kill someone - i was never fortunate enough to have a car bought and give to me - didn't even get a car until after graduation - and i understand that mistakes still happen - like accidently runnign red lights when you're jammin out to Ice Ice Baby : ) Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:29pm March 12
i love you too m!!! but you may wanna find a temporary favorite cop while mark is out of work the next 2 months....just in case... =)
and brandy, i couldnt have said it better myself!!!
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:32pm March 12
AND while i am at it.....
my cop hubby has been off work for 6 weeks already and will be off another 2-3 months at least, with NO PAY, because he got hurt off duty and is honest and moral enough to not lie and say he got hurt at work.
so i dont wanna hear no "cops waiste my tax money" garbage either!!
A at 4:38pm March 12
okay, only 18 in a 15.. I think saying S could've killed someone is a little bit of an exxagertion. the others were only going 12 in a 15.
hmm. I thought there was a like 5 over leeway or something.
M at 4:38pm March 12
Well I think that not everybody at high school gets to leave school at 1:20 to go off campus and play so the baseball players shouldn't abuse the privledge by speeding anyway.
B at 4:43pm March 12
Kids have been killed by someone backing over them and that would prob be at speeds not over 10???? Just guessing??? It's a PARK for goodness sakes!!! KIDS everywhere! and i am not saying that i've never went over the speed limit BUT i can say that there are lessons to be taught and when you think that you are above the law....well i have said enough - thanks gretchen for getting me on a soapbox!!! LOL!!! OH and m is so right!!!!!
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:49pm March 12
there is no such leeway its just a rumor that too many people buy into.
a car falling on you not moving at all can kill you, so yes, going any little bit faster than you should is really opening the door even wider than it already is for an accident to happen.
that area is so full of kids, kids that are tiny and hard to see going just 5 mph...never mind 10 or 12.
A at 4:52pm March 12
& I understand.
I'll make sure not to speed. especially in places where little kids are around.
& understnd cops have a job to do but still..
Gretchen Freeman Mitchell at 4:54pm March 12
they do have a job to do and it is a hard job and a super important one at that....they deserve our respect not our complaining.
A at 4:56pm March 12
okay, we appologize.

successful surgery

2009-03-11T14:20:00.002-05:00

mark had his back surgery.
we had to arrive at the hospital by 6am, and his surgery began a little after 11. it lasted a little less than an hour, and by noon the next day we were home. we even stopped at ihop for breakfast and at sallys for some lip plumper.
i kept everyone up to the minute on his progress via facebook. how amazing laptops and wifi are!!!
he walked 2 blocks that afternoon and has already walked 2 more today.
the kids stayed sunday night with chrissy, and tuesday night with carmen. i am so thankful for wonderful friends i can trust with my kids and that my kids enjoy being at their house. we are so thankful for a great surgery and a great 2 days after. am praying the rest go just as well.
friends from church brought supper last night, and are bringing supper tonight as well. what a blessing that is too!

discipline

2009-03-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

another parenting tip forwarded from our childrens minister:

• • • • •
Parenting Tip

March 9, 2009

Look for Ways to Make Discipline Positive

You may be saying, "Yes, I know discipline is supposed to be positive but how can I be positive when my kids are doing the wrong thing." Here are two practical ways you can make your discipline times a positive experience.

One way is to state rules and requests in positive terms. Instead of saying, "Don't shout," you might say, "We talk quietly in the store." Instead of "Stop being rough with the dog," you might say, "Be gentle." Instead of complaining about the clothes all over your four-year-old daughter's room, you could say, "Remember, we put our clothes in the hamper when we take them off."

It may take some work, but clearly stating or restating the rule in positive terms gives your child a clear picture of what you expect and keeps your interaction on a positive note. Give gentle, positive reminders to point your kids in the right direction.

A second way to be positive is to give children choices. Instead of saying, "Stop banging that drum," you could say, "You may play that drum outside or in your room." Or, "I've already said no to getting out the train set. You can either choose another activity or go outside to play for awhile." By keeping discipline positive you are training and teaching. Choices help children move in a more constructive direction.

Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

The first part of the verse describes a negative way of relating to children. Exasperate gives the impression of being harsh and causing discouragement. In place of that negative response, fathers are instructed to do something positive, bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. As parents, we don't want to discipline our kids to merely get rid of negative behaviors. The purpose of discipline is to train children and show them the positive direction they are to go.

For more practical ideas for working with your kids, consider the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

disappointment

2009-03-09T10:08:00.002-05:00

friday did not bring us the cheerleading news we had hoped for. i was so afraid of how crushed lacee would be. she has handled it very well. a few tears here and there, but nothing like i expected. i finally sat her down sunday afternoon, told her it was ok to be mad. it is ok to cry. it is ok to be dissappointed. she did admit to all of those feelings. i didnt want her to hold it in and not express herself. granted there is a time and a place for that, and at home with mom is the perfect place. or with a trusted friend. just dont let it bottle up inside and eat at you. that is unhealthy.
another mom critized me for lacee not being excited about the flower i had bought her and offered her after seeing the results of the tryouts. it was a single wrapped rose with a little greenery, and a tiny stuffed tiger attached. granted, had she been chosen for the team, she would have been in a much better mood and much more excited to be given a flower. yet two minutes after learning something you have dreamed about since as long as you can remember is not coming true doesnt put you in the gift receiving mood. i offered it to her, she said she didnt want it, i laid it down. she did not yell at me, she did not shove the flower away or throw it at me or down. i understood.
the next day i told her, that while i totally understood her feelings, she should have simply said thank you and then laid it down. that when you are having a bad day and someone does something nice for you, you should accept it, say thank you, and move on. she teared up, she obviously felt bad. i told her not to worry, i was not mad and she was not in trouble. just for furture reference, she needs to know to handle it a little better. thats all. i dont feel she acted horrid at all. and i wont bring it up again.
lacee and her friends had already had the "we will not be mad at each other no matter the results of tryouts" talk before mark and i asked her to have that talk with her friends. 1 girl out of her elementary school made it. they arent close friends, but they do have classes together. i am proud that they all had that talk without being asked, i think that shows maturity and kindness. i also know how hard that can be when reality sets in, and i am praying that today and the days that follow prove them able to hold to that pact.

thankful for a monday??

2009-03-02T10:40:00.002-06:00

my status today is that i have come back to work to get some rest! this weekend was definately not the idealist refreshing relaxing 2 days we usually look forward to.
mark anthony woke up saturday morning with the stomach virus, as i posted earlier. then on top of his ruptured discs, mark took to the virus saturday night. sunday morning he looked more like a mummy that had just been unwrapped after 100's of years of storage in a tomb than the man i married. bless his heart.
by sunday evening, thankfully he was much better. i slept lightly last night, waiting for myself or lacee or tommy to start it, but so far we are all good. hopefully it was just a MARK thing, not a family thing.
this morning i am subbing at the high school. i am so greatful to have worked every day last week and have every day this week booked as well.
i am currently on my planning period, relaxing in the library with a 25cent latte listening to the highschools musical group..WIRED..perform. they are truly amazing...musicians, vocals...if you didnt see them and were only listening you would think there was professionals in the room! very impressive!!
yesterday the kids and i did get to play in a few inches of real snow....it was great...i'll post pics soon.
today starts the week of middle school cheerleading clinics with tryouts on friday. lacee is so excited to be trying out. i am a nervous wreck! i hope she makes it, but if she doesnt i hope she handles it well. this is the first year they have let upcoming 6th graders tryout, it has only been a 7-8 grade team for years.
mark goes to the back surgeon tomorrow. i am praying for relief and a plan to keep him well.

frustration

2009-02-28T18:33:00.004-06:00

frustration comes for many reasons. as i age, i am finally getting the reality that while you cannot control every situation, you can choose how you react to it. then that choice can affects what happens next.
this evening lacee and i had that very talk. she has been good all week, has done her chores without fuss, cleaned her room without reminders, and was looking forward to inviting a friend over for the night tonight.
but mark anthony has the stomach virus today. noone in their right mind would send their child over her today. and probably dont want to risk bringing her into their house, just in case she brought his germs with her.
it is not fair. she hasnt done anything to cause her to not be able to have company, or be stuck at home with only family. (yano, cuz at 10 years old, being stuck at home with only your family is absolutely tragic). but yet she is, stuck, at home. no fun for her tonight.
she forgets that she has a library of movies to watch, a computer to play on, a room full of toys, a wii, a ds, etc etc. she HAD a cellphone to talk on as well, until she decided to have a meltdown over her stuck at home tragedy.
i seen it coming. she and i were in my bedroom, hanging 5 loads of laundry. i invited her to come back there and help me with it, so that we could hang out together. so when she said she was upset that her friend couldnt come over, i explained calmly and lovingly to her that i totally understood her frustration, agreed that it wasnt fair, even apologized about it, and reminded her there was nothing i could do about it.
i really try hard to see things from my kids point of view. to not use the "because i said so" line and definately not the "do as i say, not as i do" lines from my childhood. i try that with all children, to let them know i understand where they are coming from and explain the situation to them and the reasons for the way things are the way they are. i think that helps them to understand and make better choices in their lives as well.
but that wasnt good enough for her today.
she proceeded to raise her voice at me. to protest and fuss and tell me just how unfair it was, how she didnt want to be at home she wanted to have fun! now, i want her to talk to me, to share her feelings with me, to explain her frustrations. i encourage that. but i will not tolerate the raising of her voice at me, the arguing the same mute point, etc. she did not yell, i didnt give her that chance.
i took her phone. told her she could do without it for awhile. i dont know how long. i reminded her of her classmates who had uninvolved parents, drug addicted parents, deceased parents, etc. i reminded her of all the activities she gets to be involved in, the places she gets to do, etc. i admitted that we arent perfect parents, not the best in the world probably, but certainly not the worst. definately better than some. that she is blessed with what she has and does not have. this is definately not a situation that warranted such behavior.
she calmed down. she continued to help me with the clothes. she then put the sheets on the top bunk. she has been in a much better mood since then. she is now on the other computer. but she is still without cell phone. i am usually bad to give the phone back when the situation passes when it isnt a major blow out or disobedience. she is a great child and we are very proud of her. her teachers constantly brag on her. but i dont want to let all her good influence me to let her off too easy when she needs a punishment. so i am keeping the phone.
i am hoping that she realizes that while this stuck at home horror is not her fault and is out of our control, the fact that she chose to act out, raise her voice and rudely protest was her choice. her decision. and by that she caused herself to be without her most prized posession.

circus

2009-02-28T09:39:00.004-06:00

a few weeks ago, my friend kasey called me. she had been given free tickets to the circus in memphis and invited me and my kiddos. i decided not to take tommy, as i knew he would never sit remotely still long enough for that.
so mark anthony, lacee, me, kasey, noah, and carli (one of lacee's bffs) headed out. we got there about 5 minutes after the start time, but that was ok b/c apparantly there was a misprint in the paper about the start time, so we were earlier than alot of people that came!
we stayed for the first half and thru the intermisson. the kids enjoyed it, the only bad part was there were too many human acts and not enough animal acts to keep my wild child interested. he did ride an elephant, which totally blew my mind because he did it all by himself, no one he knew rode it with him!!
after the circus we went to chucky cheese to eat and give the boys a chance to run off energy before the ride home. it was super packed, but a really nice chucky cheese. not just games, but tons of rides. mark anthony loved that part. lacee and carli and noah loved the games part the best. everyone but carli and the adults slept on the way back home. it was a great day with friends!!

yuck

2009-02-28T09:36:00.003-06:00

today is saturday. lacee is at donnies for last night and most of today.
mark anthony woke his daddy up at 530 am, sick with a stomach virus. he has thrown up around 10 times by now, at 930am. mark is still down in his back, he is back in bed, and i am up with the boys. thankfully, so far mark anthony is the only one sick. my current job is keeping tommy from playing in the pukey garbage can right beside mark anthony at all times. lovely saturday, huh?

cost vs value

2009-02-24T12:54:00.002-06:00

our childrens minister at church has begun forwarding us these neat parenting help emails. i love that. below is one that he sent this week.
i hope and pray that i always see the value of my children, rather than the cost. and that when the moments come that i am caught up in the cost (of course its gonna happen....we all get caught up in it from time to time. the lack of time to do this, to do that, the lack of money for this or that, the lack of sleep, the excess of gray hairs and stretch marks,...) that i am quick to remember that the value is greater and longer lasting than any cost.

• • • • •
Parenting Tip

February 23, 2009

Cost vs. Value

Do you focus on the "value" of your children, or do you spend most of your time considering how much they "cost?"

One woman had a table worth $600. She valued the table but decided to sell it and set the price at $400. A man came to purchase the table and liked it very much. He offered her $300. The woman explained to the man that the table was worth $600 and that she couldn't reduce the price any more. The woman felt as if she had reduced the price too much already.

The man thought about it and said, "Lady, we would both be happy if you would just change the price." The woman knew the man was right. She went back to the price tag and crossed out $400 and wrote $600. The man was shocked. The woman said, "The table is worth $600."

"But it costs so much."

The woman was focusing on the table's value; the man was looking at the cost.

Parents often do this with their children. Raising children has a high price tag that includes loss of sleep and fewer choices for your free time and money. You transport them from here to there and back here again. Children cost much more than parents ever imagined. If you focus too much on the cost, you miss the value. Parents who realize the value of their children conduct themselves differently and closeness is the result.

The man valued the table so he bought it. He took it home and put it in a special place. If anyone put a drink down on it, he quickly offered a coaster, wanting to protect that table. Why? He knew its value. It was worth a lot to him.

Children aren't possessions, they're treasures. Most parents don't realize what they're getting into when they bring that little bundle of cuteness home from the hospital. They may get irritated or lose some of the joy of parenting over the years. Part of the solution is to get your mind off the cost and onto the value of your children. They won't be around too long. When you recognize a child's value it's easier to show honor.

This parenting tip is taken from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. This book is about practical ways that parents can teach honor and model it in relationships.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

whats the deal?

2009-02-20T11:10:00.003-06:00

i am subbing today. they are watching a video. after watching it a couple times already, i am now here to blog.
in my first period class we got into the discussion of "why can a white guy call a black guy the N word and he gets mad, but if another black guy says it then its OK?" this is a discussion i imagine will carry on forever. it is one i gladly step into. i want to help people think more openmindedly. my ancestors werent so open minded. but that doesnt mean i dont get the chance to be.
i tell them that it is the same principal as this. let a fat girl say to her fat friend, "we cant fit thru this door together" and thats ok. but let a skinny girl say "you two cant fit thru that door together" and it on!
i dont find many people who will admit to understanding this concept. that its whats inside that counts, no matter whats on the outside. no matter the color of your skin, the color of your hair or eyes, the size of your body, the country you or your grandparents were born in.
i read this blog very often. i was so glad to see someone else displaying the same line of thinking. this post here made me happy. finally someone else who lives in savannah tn and gets it!

catching up

2009-02-18T13:27:00.002-06:00

it has been so long since my last blog post. i am not really sure where to begin to catch up. we have just been playing and living and relaxing and working. very busy at all those things.
back in january our church hosted its 10th annual EU, or evangilism university. teens from all over the country come for the weekend. its more like a training convention than a youth rally. training them to share Gods word. we had 6 girls stay in our home friday night, 4 on saturday as 2 of them went back to freed that night. it was a wonderful weekend, and a big step for mark to let complete strangers stay in our home.
january also brought marks 39th birthday, my 31st, and his mothers. i am embarrassed to admit i am not sure which birthday she celebrated. she is still in the nursing home, which she now calls her home. we brought her to our house for thanksgiving and christmas. she seemed to enjoy it, but wasnt much on hanging around long.
february has brought valentines day, with mark anthony telling me, "mommy, you make my heart happy". it doesnt get any better than that! lacee and sam, are still calling each other boy and girl friend, and they exchanged gifts. she got him an under armour hat and a huge chocolate covered apple, he got her a heart shaped box of chocolates and a huge stuffed puppy dog which tommy tries to steal from her but she has somehow managed to sleep with it every night.
mark anthony isnt near as sick as he was last year. tommy is taking his turn at being the sick one. he has an appt in april and an appt in june at vanderbilt. one is with an ent and one is with an allergist. i am not sure which appt is which, lol. so long as we go to the right one on the right day i will be proud.
lacee is preparing to try out for a newly forming competative cheer squad at a local gymnastics facility. she is extrememly excited about that.
i have signed up to be a consultant for chezami childrens wear. www.chezami.com. i will have a busy 2 weeks in march conducting home shows. i wanted a way to earn a little extra income, and i enjoy the rush of direct sales companies. yet our busy schedule doesnt allow for much of that. chez ami only has 2 selling seasons, spring and fall. so i will have a wild 2 weeks in those 2 seasons, but i am looking forward to it.
tball is only available to 4 yr olds in savannah, but in neighboring crump, 3yr olds can play. mark anthony doesnt know it yet, but will be so thrilled to be able to play this summer!
mark anthony stayed the night a couple weeks ago with a friend, just down the road, his first ever sleep over. he has spent the night with his grandmother before, and with the smothermans last summer when lacee had surgery, but this was his first time spending the night with a friend just for the fun of it.
i have tons of pictures to go with these events, but i am at hchs subbing today. therefore my pictures are not with me. (its my break class...i'm not ignoring any students right now..haha)
i am subbing alot. as much as possible. i enjoy it, and we need the income.
mark has hurt his back. he has 4 buldging discs. 2 are above and 2 are below the place he had surgery on back in the early 90's. medication, shots, rest, heating pad.....nothing is providing much relief at all for him. he goes to see his back surgeon, but not until march 17. he is off work indefinately. he does have a small disability insurance policy at work, we arent sure yet what it pays. bless his heart, he is not one to stay at home, not one to sit around. i would be lieing if i said that i am not enjoying him doing the cooking and cleaning while i am at work...but i do hate that he is in pain. and no, i dont ask him to do the cooking and cleaning, but those are about the only things he is able to do. it keeps him busy and as much as i tell him he doesnt have to, he doesnt listen.
we are praying for a speedy recovery. for him to heal quickly. for his pain to be gone. for our finances to be ok. for us to still be able to take our children on the first beach trip in 6 years as we have planned. for mark to be able to play ball with the kids this summer. for him to be able to sleep in the bed and not in the recliner.
God is good. We know that he is in control. what a peace that brings. while i am scared and worried and concerned, i can honestly say that i do not have that huge weight on my shoulders i would have had previously. i am not going to let myself stress over this. i am gonna, as they say, "let go and let God". He will take care of us.

christmas 2008

2009-01-02T19:56:00.002-06:00

christmas was wonderful for our family. mark works a cool shift at work now, he works 7 days straight and is off for 7 days straight. the 7 on really stink, but the 7 off are awesome! we were so glad that his 7 off fell christmas week. the kids were out of school, i of course was not subbing, and mark was home. it was just great!
last year was a hard christmas for us financially, and mark and i went overboard trying to make up for it this year. so did santa. i think that mark, santa, and i made wise choices in our purchases, though.
we know we are so blessed, to have our family, a home, great friends, and Jesus.
my mom stayed christmas eve night with us, a tradition we started years ago, so that they grandparents can see the kids enjoy santa the next morning. christmas eve evening, we open the presents from each other. i started this when lacee was little, to make christmas excitement last a little longer. then christmas morning we open what santa has brought.
christmas day i prepared a big meal. mark brought his mom home from the nursing home to enjoy the meal with us.
we spent the rest of the day at home, the rest of the week actually.
who could ask for more?

tough times

2009-01-02T19:04:00.002-06:00

poor lacee. she has had a rough semester. i blogged about her birthday party and how the girls there gave her a rough time. she distanced herself from those that were the pickers that night for about a month, and things got better. she learned a little about standing up for herself.
lots of life issues i expect to deal with with my kids. walking, talking, potty training, loosing teeth (although this one is still gross to me..the wiggling and popping...ewww), fights with friends, puberty, homework issues, teacher issues, the talk, etc etc etc. yet monday night i found myself dealing with a situation i was totally unprepared for. lacee was equally unprepared.
a friend of hers that had been over a night or two the week before was staying her second night in a row at our house. a super sweet, well mannered likeable 10yr old girl. mark and i loved having her over. the boys enjoyed her too. the girls also invited another girl over for the night. this one hasnt been here as much, but has been one of lacee's friends for many years.
i took the girls to the movies, and my young friend sarah went with me so i wouldnt be the only adult sitting 3 rows behind the kids. after the movies the girls all came back to our house for the night. mark had to be at work at 545am, so we warned the girls that they must be super super quiet that night (hard, i know) so as not to wake him and that the next day when everyone was awake they could let 'er rip. they understood and agreed.
they were actually doing pretty good with the quiet part, sarah just warned them twice to ssshhhh, we were trying to keep it low. the second time sarah opened the door, lacee says "i'm changing!!!"
lacee then tells sarah, "they are trying to take a picture of me while i am changing!" and sure enough, sarah seen one of the girls with her cell phone out, holding it up in picture taking mode.
being only 19 and unsure of what to do, she came to me.
my first mistake..i sat there stunned for like a minute or two.
my second mistake..i went to the room, told the girls that i loved all three of them very much and that there would be no naked pictures of anyone taken at anytime, or no sexy pictures of anyone with clothes on. i made them promise me that the picture had not been sent to anyone and that it had been deleted.
my third mistake..i left the room. for like 5 minutes. the longer i sat in the living room the madder i got. i was shocked and scared and didnt know what to do. i have never had to send a child home from my house for misbehavior. i certainly was not expecting to deal with naked picture taking from 10yr olds!!
i called a friend of mine to ask what she would do. "have you taken their cell phones away from them?" OMG NO!!! what was i thinking!! i should have confiscated them immediately. i just slipped. i froze. i was UNPREPARED.
so i got off the phone with wendi and walked straight to the girls room. "give me all 3 of your cell phones and you two pack your things, you are going home."
the tears ensued immediately. please please no.
i called both moms, explained the situation, and asked them to come get their daughters and have a long talk with them. it was between 10:30 and 11pm at this time.
the girls came into the living room, sat on the couch. crying and begging me not to call their moms, to let them have their phones back, they were sorry, they didnt send it to anyone, it was deleted, they didnt mean it.
i began to talk with them. i told them that i loved all of them very much, that it wasnt because the pic was of lacee. but that pics like that are just wrong. i asked them what they thought when they saw people in magazines or books or on tv like that, did they think it was cool? i told them that if that pic had been sent to even just one person, that by the next day that pic would be all over the county and lacee would forever be known by that pic. i asked them how they what they would think if one of their friends had a pic of another of their friends like that? i asked them did they think it was cool? i asked them did they think their moms and dads would be proud of them for this? i asked them did they think God was proud of them for this? i told them that life was full of choices and one bad decision can have tons of horrible consequences. they have to learn to think things through. as they go to middle school next year it is only going to get harder. i told them that i wanted to believe them, that they were just playing around and did not think through the consequences of thier actions and did not do this to be mean spirited.
i dont know if i believe that or not.
after both girls were gone, i woke mark up. from an entirely too deep sleep, he didnt have much to say.
lacee and i talked for a long time. she is devastated. this is the way it happened. as lacee was changing from her clothes to her pj's and was in her bra and panties, one of the girls pulled her panties down and said, "take the picture". as lacee bent down to pull up her panties, the other girl snapped the picture. lacee said she saw the pic and it showed her legs and her bottom. the other two confirmed this was the way it happened earlier.
i honestly believe this account of it, and that lacee was not agging them on for pics of her that way. why? because back in aug a boy put his arm around her at school, she shoved him off, and was mortified!!! so i dont want to think that in 4 months she has went from arm on the shoulder is off limits to wanting to pose for playboy. i dont want to be the nieve mom who thinks her kids do no wrong. i know they do and will. i just dont think she is this bad right now. and i pray that she never is. i pray that the girls all learn from this lesson. i pray that the moms all learn from it too. i have learned from it.
i have learned to be way more strict on her friendships.
from now on, lacee's phone goes to bed with me at night, as well as the computer. if she has friends over with cell phones, they too will go with me at night. the next step if needed will be that she is no longer allowed to text and that she will only be allowed to talk on the phone with me or her daddy in the same room.
the next morning, through text messages with the camera holder, lacee learned that they had also tried to take another of her without her knowing. she is so mad, so hurt. she doesnt want to be friends with these girls anymore, and dreads going back to school to see them. this is from a child that wants to be friends with everyone no matter what and loves school even when her grades are bad.
i will also be requesting that lacee's seating arrangements during class and at lunch be adjusted.
i made calls to confirm that the pic had not been sent to anyone, and by now, friday, if it had been sent i am sure i would have heard about it. i am so very thankful that it had not been sent, and that we caught this situation before it got worse. i have been second guessing my every decision as a mom all week. my biggest fear in life is failing my children and/or screwing them up.
i asked lacee this week how she would feel if she walked into school next week and their were all her friends standing in the hallway with cell phones open, looking at that picture of her. she said she would want to move to memphis and never come back!
at random times throughout the week i have asked her to explain to me what happened. i have asked her to tell me why it was wrong. i have asked her to explain to me why she chooses to not be friends with these girls anymore. (even if she didnt choose that--she wouldnt be allowed to--but i am glad she is on the same page). she seems to grasp the concept as well as can be expected for a 10yr old girl.
i must admit that i am still in shock that this whole situation even came up. these girls are 10! TEN YEARS OLD! they are in the 5th grade. they come from good families. i was so unprepared to deal with this.

mitchell disco

2008-12-23T19:21:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

its official

2008-12-13T18:52:00.002-06:00

its official...i am not cool anymore.
i am not worthy of a girls night out - even to the local cinema.
not with lacee anyway.
no kidding, i just went in her room, where she was taking a late nap, and asked her if she wanted to go to the movies.
"huh?" she muttered.
"do you wanna go to the movies?"
"with who?"
"me"
"nah"
and that was that.
i knew this day was coming. honestly, it probably been here awhile. but goodness, i thought maybe just tonight we could go to the movies, just me and her.
it could be because she was asleep and just exhausted. (she is tired alot lately, i think something is missing from her diet)
i suppose i should be happy, that she is growing up and is a social child with friends her own age, not always wanting to be attached to mommy and daddy. and really, i am. but, that doesnt mean i am not sad that she turned me down.

the Pickwick Belle

2008-12-13T18:29:00.002-06:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Today, Mark and I took the kids to Pickwick. Mom bought us all tickets to ride on the Pickwick Belle, an authentic paddle-boat, to have cookies and meet Santa, Mrs Claus, and some elves. It was a great gift for us all!
www.pickwickbelle.com

*&^%$#@ cancer!!

2008-12-13T10:43:00.003-06:00

i missed a phone call yesterday while i was working. it was my aunt calling from memphis. she doesnt call that often, but didnt leave a message. i honestly didnt think much of it, just that she was calling to chat. she is a chatter! she is where i get my chatter-ing from. lol. then last night mark and i went to corinth to finish up christmas shopping. while shopping, aunt seleta called again. i answered, and she told me the news. she has breast cancer. i asked her how big the spot was, she said, "not spot, but spots". she goes back to the doctor tuesday. her apt is at 5pm. 5pm! is that not crazy?!? i dont know which side it is on, i dont know what she has chosen to do as far as treatment, surgery, etc. i dont know if she knows.
seleta is my daddys sister. she is the only aunt i grew up knowing. we were close back in the day. as she has gotten older and as my life has gotten busier, we dont get to spend the time together as we once did. memphis isnt across the country, but its still great enough distance to make time together harder to come by.
her daughter, zina, also had breast cancer several years back. then a few months ago she had another scare. and i also learned yesterday that one of her daughters had a scare recently.
i havent had a scare. i have never in my almost 31 yrs had a mamogram. yes, i know, i should be scheduling an appt asap. i am currently without insurance, so getting coverage will have to come first.
my mind wanders back to old times, when i was a child, when my daddy and uncle and grandmother were alive. when we all got together and my cousins and i would play and play. when i would go to memphis and spend the night with aunt seleta and we would stay up late talking, and sleep in late the next morning.
i am praying. praying for my aunt. she just buried her husband earlier this year. i am praying for my cousins, for this is their mother and grandmother. they just buried their daddy and granddaddy earlier this year. and now we have news like this. life is full of surprises, setbacks, bumps in the road. i pray that this cancer she has is not bad, that the doctors are able to get it all, and that it stays gone.
the picture is of aunt seleta and tommy, just a few weeks ago, thanksgiving day at zina's house.

christmas?

2008-12-12T10:17:00.001-06:00

another email i opened today, i felt the need to share.

With LESS THAN one month before Christmas REMEMBER:
Jesus is Better than Santa
Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. and then enters your heart.
You have to stand in line to see Santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.
Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.
It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is still the reason for the season.
May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and your loved ones this Christmas 2008
And may He prosper and bless the work of your hands in the New Year.
God bless you all ...AMEN, AND AMEN.

random thoughts

2008-12-12T08:30:00.004-06:00

I received this in an email today, and thought it was wonderful. Some of the statements I have heard before, some i have not.
(i am adding my thoughts at the end of each one...that wasnt part of the email...ha!)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is
the ultimate anti-depressant.
(i have heard that walking is good medicine, both for the heart and the mind. i have not heard the smile while you walk part. sounds good to me. now, the hard part comes in getting out and actually doing it. i have friends that walk, run, and/or jog every morning before teaching school all day. wow. it sounds wonderful. it sounds cold, too.)

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about
what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
i love this! i would need that lock, though, for sure. i pray whenever i can. walking down the halls at school, while taking a shower in the mornings (hey...a few alone minutes, dont get too many of those!), while driving down the road, when i lay down at night. way back about 8 or 9 years ago, i had a blank journal book. i kept it by my bed, and would write my prayers in it every night. i wrote them more like a letter to God. it helped me so very much, because i am so scatterbrained and life keeps us so easily distracted that when my mind would wander off into the "to-do list" of tommorrow, i could easily look down at what i had written so far, get back on track, and continue in my prayer.)

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My
purpose is to __________ today. I am thankful for______________'(i really like this too. i'll fill it in for today. my purpose is to glorify God today. i am thankful for jesus, for my family and friends and all my blessings. really, shouldnt that be our motto everyday? to glorify God in all we do, and to remember to always be thankful! i think i should print that out all nice and pretty, and hang it in our bathrooms on the mirrors, in our vehicles, and on our refridgerators.)
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.
(ok, so we love bananas in our house. they grow on trees. and they are cheap, i guess. we love fruit. fresh fruit is usually expensive. we stock up on canned fruit when kroger has the kroger brands at 10 cans for $10. cant beat that.)

5, Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan
salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. (umm, blueberries..no thanks. yuck. salmon, yes, we love it. and broccoli, too. mark wont eat it unless its smothered in cheese, but thats ok too. green tea? we like the diet lipton green tea. the non diet version has a "wang" to it. at home we drink good ole southern sweet tea. yummy. water? i wish i drank more of it. hey, i do! tea is simply flavored water, right?)
(6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. (i agree with this. i think i accomplish this one most of the time. the days that i sub, i know i do. i try to brighten the teachers i work with day by smiling or telling some corny joke. the kids i sub for? yeah, they smile when the realize they have me as their sub. because i am awesome? sounds nice, but no. i doubt that is it. in reality its because i am generally a fun, easy going, laid back sub. i give them a chance before i "crack the whip" on them. most days, this pays off for both me and the students.)
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues
of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment. (i like this one too. its not as easy done as it is said, but its a great goal to strive for.)
8. Eat breakfast like a king,lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card. (i think i live this one, just in reverse order. no, we dont always eat dinner (or any other meal) like a king. hardly ever. but breakfast? thats always the maxed out college kid meal. lunch? for most days, its at school. depending on what school you're at or what day it is...it can be great, or it can be good. dinner? no, that supper around here. some nights it is way nicer than others. but, yano, the more i think about it, the more i should say, it is like a kings meal. we do eat every meal, or at least have the ability to eat if we choose to. some nights are bigger and fancier than others, some nights are cereal, some are whatever, but we have them. there are many who dont. so even fruit loops are fit for a king!)
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. (this is true. its hard, but true)
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. (i think this gets easier as we get older and more mature. we can hate the choices people make, the things they do, the things they say. but the bible tells us we cant hate anyone. whats the point in it anyway? if they have done something so bad to us to cause us to want to hate them, do they even care how we feel about them? nope, i seriously doubt it!)
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
(ha! this is funny! true, i guess. yet i hope my kids and my hubby take me seriously. they better, anyway! i take them seriously!)
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.
(again, i think the ability to do this comes with maturity. age? not so much, for i know adults way past the age of understanding that still dont get this.)
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
(this is a hard one. i believe it to be a great concept, and something to strive for. i do find it to be a hard one. i cant say that i have made peace with my past, but i can say that i have chosen to do all that i can to make the most of it, to use it to help others, and hopefully glorify God in the process)
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about. (this is so very true. what looks perfect from the outside hardly ever is. and the opposite can be very true as well. our clothes may not be much, our budget is not much, our home and cars are not fancy. but we are happier as a family right now than we have ever been.)
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
(this is a hard one too, but so very important. to choose to be happy regardless of the world crumbling down around you. yet, if you can do this, to put it all in perspective...it is so worth every ounce of effort it takes)
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years,
will this matter?' (i have been doing this one for years now, and i can truly say it works. it is such a simple tool for prioritizing. i love it!)
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
(mom and i were just talking about this the other day. she said, "things will never be the same as they were 10 years ago. i cannot forgive and forget." i told her, the bible doesnt call us to forgive and forget. i does call us to forgive. to let go. to move on. we are not asked to forget. remembering is very useful. we remember the mistakes of our past so as to (hopefully) not repeat them. yet we forgive ourselves and others so we can move on, to let it go, and focus on doing better.)
18. What other people think of you is none of your business. (a slap in the face here. i must admit this one is very hard. i want to know what people think of me. i want to know why they think it. and if its not good, i want to change it. is that so wrong? probably not. but what most likely is wrong, is to let that curiosity control me. if i go around each day trying to please others, to do what i think will make them think highly of me...then who am i serving? not God. not myself. not my family.)
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
(AMEN)
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. (thats so very true. i want to show this to all the skinny people. i was once a "skinny girl". thought i would never wear a one-peice, never have fat on my back, etc. yet here i am. bigger than i have ever been, but more loved and more in love than i have ever been. closer to God than i have ever been.)
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are in need. Your friends
will. Stay in touch!!! (this is so very true too. i tell people all the time, its your family and friends that will be there, not your job.)
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
(well, yes envy is a waste of time. i agree. and all you need? food, clothing, love, shelter, and God. then you've got it covered.)
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
(i like this too. i will try to do this tonight)
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
(this is true, but it seems so cliche now. you see it on signs, on bumper stickers, etc. its not that i dont agree with it, but to me, it almost makes me feel like if i am stressed then i am not blessed. i am blessed. i am also an easily stressed person. maybe this one steps on my toes? i dont know. i want one that says, i am stressed, but i am blessed enough to know that i will make it through this stress and the next one and the next one and the next one.....)
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings.
You'll be smiling before you know it.
(amen!)

i was tagged!!!

2008-12-09T11:36:00.004-06:00

my dear friend amanda s. tagged me in her blog.
i am to find the 4th picture folder in my computer. then find the 4th picture in that folder. and tell 4 facts about that picture. then i am to tag 4 people to do the same. so here goes --
1. this picture was taken a little over a year ago, at our house in pyburn.
2. tommy was a little over 2 months old, mark anthony was 2 yrs and 5 months.
3. they were in the bathtub, i was holding tommy. this was probably one of their first baths together.
4. it was right after christmas. mark anthony had gotten bathtub crayons for christmas, and he had chosen to color all over tommy with them! it was really cute. the crayons tickled tommys feet.
now, i am to tag 4 people.
sandi, amanda b., kelly, and michelle. have fun girls!!! =)

tommy is 1

2008-10-27T22:10:00.003-05:00

it still doesnt seem possible. my youngest child is 1. craziness. tommy turned 1 on oct 2. we had his party the saturday before. he had a great time at his party.
at each of my childrens party for their first birthday, i have each guest make a square and then i have those squares quilted for the child. it turns out to be a favorite blanket and a wonderful keepsake. it seems like just yesterday we learned tommy was on the way, nevermind the crazy pregnancy i had with him and then finally holding him for the first time. his being 1 yr old is almost insane to me.

tupelo buffalo park

2008-10-27T21:55:00.003-05:00

on sat sept 20, kasey and i decided to take our boys to tupelo buffelo park and zoo.
so 3 boys and 2 moms headed out. of course, it was the longest trip down there, with at least 3 or 4 pit stops, snack breaks, etc. we finally made it, and we had a great time. after that we ate lunch (olive garden i think) then a little shopping. we made it back home around 9pm. it was a nice day. a busy day, but fun. the boys thoroughly enjoyed themselves and we did too.

birthday slumber party

2008-10-27T21:38:00.002-05:00

so as is normal with girls, lacee wanted a sleepover for her 10th birthday. and being the super cool go with the flow make your childhood special awesome mom i am, i said sure. as it ended up we had way over 10 girls here after school. 2 eight graders came, as well as another friend of the family (megan) to help make shirts. we made tank top shirts, had the hallway of pizza, and then headed out to the home football game. the girls looked so cute in their matching shirts. and it sure made it easy for me to keep an eye on them! after the game, it was across the road to 5th qtr. dodgeball. we watched. we may have attempted to play. but we lived thru it. dodgeball at sav coc 5th qtr is no joke. its some serious, be sure you have health and life insurance on your kids dodgeball. and the kids love it. anyway, after that, we came on back home. it was a little after midnight. and while i like to pretend i am young and full of spunk, i know better. so i got the girls to change into pj's, gave them the rules, and headed to bed. i was done. most stayed up till 4am. some said they made it till 6am. ha. i woke them up at about 9am for bfast, bday cake, and presents cuz we ran out of time for all that the night before. then moms started coming and girls started leaving. i must admit that even though it was a busy slumber party, it was the easiest one i have done. i am sure part of it is the age...10yr olds dont want as much mommy involvement as 5yr olds. i am sure too that part of it was the taking advantage of the local happenings rather than cooping them up at home the whole time. i was especially thankful for the new house that night too. our bedroom being farther from the living room certainly helped me sleep and avoiding any aftermidnight wakings of the boys.
the event wasnt without drama, however. the next couple weeks after the party led to more and more details coming forward about the little things that happened that i was very disturbed over. seems that little girls can be mean, even to the birthday girl in her own home. lacee ended up hiding in her closet. one of her bff's took her phone from her and texted to and broke up with her boyfriend pretending to be lacee. (lacee and sam worked this all out by monday). lacee and i have had several talks (more intense talks) about standing up for yourself, not being a doormat, how you should treat people and how you deserve to be treated, and removing yourself from a situation when needed. its been a hard lesson. lots of tears were shed those couple of weeks. i am proud of myself for taming the mama bear in me, and letting lacee handle things on her own. every child needs that self confidence and ability. yet it is hard for mamas to stay back and let them.

long time, no blog

2008-10-27T21:34:00.002-05:00

wow. i really cannot believe it has been almost 2 months since i have blogged. i am glad to say that it is not because anything has been wrong. its because life has just been so very busy. a good busy. a we are blessed with activities and functions and too much to do kind of busy. thats the kind of busy i like. but, i do need to do better about blogging. not because i think the cyber world is on the edge of their seats waiting on my next keystroke, (although the ones that have asked me about it have made me happy), but because this is my super easy convienient online scrapbook so to speak. my online diary. my historical record of where we have been. i hope that it is here forever, for my children to come back to as they get older. to remember things and see things and maybe know why i did some of the crazy things i do. haha.
so, here i am. and i will try to catch up.

our new house

2008-09-01T21:10:00.004-05:00

we have been working hard getting our new house ready. we still have alot of work today, but we have gotten a lot done. we are all enjoying the location and the extra room!!
we have managed to loose all of my clothes other than my junk clothes and a few pieces that were in the dirty clothes.
we still have alot of stuff at pyburn to get, some yard sale items, some things we need to keep.

gluten free birthday!!

2008-09-01T21:02:00.002-05:00

lacee made it home around 6pm. mark anthony and i made her a gluten free birthday cake. i was really nervous about it, but it tasted wonderful! very moist and super rich!! it was great! mekisha, sara, and hannah rose came over along with my mom and shared cake with us. the boys got lacee an accent rug for her bedroom. mark and i havent gotten her a gift yet, have no idea what to get her. still dont.

lacee

2008-09-01T08:46:00.003-05:00

lacee is 10 today!!!
i am so in shock that i have been a mommy for 10 years. it seems like just yesterday she was born, a tiny little thing, bruises around her neck where the cord had wrapped around her and her heart had stopped. the jagged scar on my belly from the emergency c section that saved my baby girl's life is a constant reminder of how close i came to almost not having her. i cant imagine life without my daughter. she is my first born, my only daughter. i love her with all of my heart.
she is not with me today. this is the first time she has not woken up at home with me on her birthday. and i dont like it. not one bit. she is in mississippi with her daddy donnie. they are bowling in a parent/child bowling tourney. this is an annual tourney, on labor day each year. last year was their first time to bowl in it, and she won a $100 scholarship!! i hope she does well this time too!!
today will be my first attempt at making a gluten free bday cake. i want to have one here for her when she gets home this evening.

we are moved

2008-08-30T08:44:00.003-05:00

we are moved!
it has been a long rough week and we still arent finished by far but we are in our new house!
we have been here since wed night. we still have some painting to do, lots of cleaning, tons of unpacking, and more to get from pyburn. but we are in!!
pictures will be coming soon, i just havent managed to take them yet.

what a lovely day

2008-08-26T09:01:00.002-05:00

we spent last night on the floor at marks moms house. i took off work today. my kids are all at school/daycare/preschool. marks mom was transferred to linden last night, so he is currently there, signing her in, etc.
we realized last night that the longer our clothes and furniture sat in the trailer we are moving out of, the more and more they are going to smell like sewage. my mom took off work. she and i are at the trailer. we have put clothes in garbage bags. i rented a u-haul this morning. $100 we dont have to spend but at this point have no choice. i had hoped my mom and i could load up tables and chairs and small pieces of furniture while waiting on mark to return from linden. nice plan, huh?
i sit here, blogging b/c i am so mad i could break windows and doors and plates and glasses, etc just to release my anger. i have already screamed. i have cried. i have said words i shouldnt. i have hit boxes. i still do not feel better.
the uhaul is stuck. STUCK!! in the mud. no where near the doors of the trailer. too far to tote anything. too stuck for my mom or i to get unstuck. i did it. i got it stuck. i will admit that. i just wanted to back it up to the front door so we could load some stuff. so i could be useful and helpful. instead i make a bigger mess. another headache. more drama. more stress. i hate being a burden. i am a burden. i cant get anyone to help us, so i try to do it myself. and where does that get me? here. stuck in the mud. and not fun mud. poop smelling mud. i am the definition of eyore. the rain cloud over my head. it follows me everywhere. my kids deserve better. my husband deserves better. i think i deserve better too. yes, i have made mistakes in my life. some small, some not. but i am a good person. i am a christian. i am a good friend. i try to help people in any way i can. i care for people. i dont understand why things like this keep happening to me. i know satan is testing me. i know God wont give me more than i can handle. i think he has way more confidence in me than i do.

i am afraid to ask

2008-08-25T13:10:00.002-05:00

i am afraid to ask what else.....
marks mom was supposed to go back to linden saturday morning. but here it is monday and she is still in jackson. her lab work is off, potassium and other things, so linden will not take her until jackson gets her straightened out.
we had planned on finishing up painting and cleaning the new house and moving in by friday.
ha
so last night after church i go help mark paint some more. the kids and i go home, and i start a load of clothes. mark comes home a few minutes later and says, "who overflowed the potty in the kids bathroom?" i have no idea what he is talking about.
i should have never walked back there.
it has rained the past several days, lots and lots of rain.
our septic system was put in brand new 2 yrs ago when we moved to pyburn. this is the second time it has rained for days and days and days and days.
in the kids bath we have a lake that reaches into the carpet in the hall. this lake is not clean. the bathtub is full of a brown ocean as well.
go check our bathroom, mark asks.
i dont even have to open the door, as my feet feel the wet carpet outside our bathroom as well. the lakes in our bathroom arent as deep, and they are clear. but they are there, none the less.
forget it we decide.
we are not paying to have it fixed for 4 days. no way.
it was after 11pm. the kids were in bed asleep. so we slept as best we could till 5am, got up, gathered clothes and headed to my moms for showers.
mark has had to take off work today and tomorrow. rushing to try to finish up the painting. i am at work, subbing at the middle school all week. since i am a horrid painter, he feels i am more useful here than at the house.
rather than rent a hotel for the next few days, we plan on camping out on his moms living room couches and floor (she has no beds set up in her house, she preferred sleeping on the couch). we will be rushing around like headless chickens to get moved.
we are very grateful to the 2 families that have watched our children for us while we have been working to get the new house set up. we are very grateful to the 4 ppl that volunteered a few hours at the house.
we have hired a painter to help us finish, as there is no way we can do it alone on a time schedule.
as soon as they decide to send evelyn back to linden, mark will have to go back up there to take her clothes and sign her into the hospital. this will cut at least 3 hours into our rushed schedule.
i am frustrated by the people that have laughed (literally laughed) when i asked them to help us paint.
but, we will get there. we will be moved soon. life will go on. my family will be better off. and i am grateful we have each other.

wallpaper glue

2008-08-23T09:29:00.002-05:00

i have decided that the inventor of wallpaper glue should be glued to the wall upside down with the junk!!
we are renting a home, and are in the process of removing wallpaper and painting the whole house. the wallpaper that was up was horrid, and the whole house was covered in it. yuck! i forgot to take before pictures, but its probably best as it could have broken my camera! i will show after pics once we are finished.
the kids rooms are done unless there are touchups to be done. the ceilings are all done with the exception of living room and kitchen.
in lacee's room there are 3 green walls and 1 purple wall. i goofed and got semi gloss for the purple, so she has 1 shiney wall! oops!
the kids havent been in the house since painting begun, and i plan to not take them back until it is all done and set up. i want to surprise them with their new rooms!
the excitement is building and the clock is ticking as we scheduled to have the utilites turned off at our current home on the 30th. (thats just 7 days away!)

back to linden

2008-08-23T09:19:00.002-05:00

wednesday morning we finally spoke to the gi doctor. evelyn didn not have free air in her abdomen, but did have an intestinal blockage. they planned a colonoscopy for thursday morning. her bladder had also shut down, they seemed to think clearing the blockage would allow the bladder to work again. mark and i came back home wednesday evening, and he went back thursday morning. when he got there thursday and they were waiting to do the colonoscopy, her heart starting registering all kinds of crazy arithmias, going form 59 to 200! they put off the colonoscopy and called in a cardiologist. it was later determined that her heart was just fine, it was a problem with their equipment!!!! rescheduled the colonoscopy for friday morning.
mark returned to jackson friday morning. they found that she has diverticulitis and prescribed her meds for that. she will be returning to linden saturday.
her bladder was still not working on its own at this point, they said that sometimes they just shut down.
she is no longer feeding herself, she sleeps most of the time, barely talking and when she does it is so low you have to get right over her to hear her.
i hope that the antiotics and meds will fight off all the infection and allow her to regain her strength.

morning update

2008-08-20T09:01:00.002-05:00

as of 9am wednesday morning these are the latest updates:
evelyn is unable to urinate on her own. this just started once arriving in jackson. we are awaiting a catheter. her bladder is full, and she says she needs to pee, she tries to and it hurts.
according to CTscan taken in jackson last night there is no free air in her abdomean, but she does have a fecal impaction. she is on clear liquid diet and awaiting enimas and laxatives and will have colonoscopy tomorrow.
we dont have any answers or numbers yet as far as her white blood cell count being high or a cause for it other than bacterial infection per linden hospital.
we dont have any numbers or answers yet as to why her h&h levels are dropping to show loss of blood.
up until the 17th she was urinating 9x in each 24hr period. urinated 2x on the 19th. on the 17th she had diarreha 9x. she had a small stoll on the 18th. yesterday (the 19th) she was given milk of mag wiht noo effect and a rectal exam no stoll was felt but only liquid on gloves. the CT scan last night looked as though the impaction was low, which means it has moved some on its own.
current meds are adavan .25mg x 1; ariceft 5mg x 1; cymbalta 30mg x 1.
she says she isnt really in any pain other than the bladder issues, but she just doesnt feel good at all. doesnt feel good all over. she doesnt show signs of distress or pain when being examined. she knows where she is, what the date is, etc.
we have only spoken with one doc (the poop doc). we are currently waiting to speak with the gi doc and anyone else.

about to go to the hospital

2008-08-19T17:16:00.002-05:00

we are awaiting a call from the hospital in linden.
marks mom was scheduled to come to the nursing home in savannah monday. but as the doc chatted with her monday, he felt the meds were not doing all they needed and changed them again for a 5th time (i think 5 is correct). that meant she would be staying another few days.
then today they learned that she has air leaking in her abdomen. they arent sure if it is coming from her intestines or her lungs. she has also had blood in her stool for a few days and her white blood cell count is elevated. we are just waiting to find out if she is going to jackson or vanderbilt to head out. the kids are staying with a friend tonight. we are all packed and waiting.
i am not medically intelligent about issues i havent had experience with, and this is one of those! i am not sure what will happen next.

busy busy busy

2008-08-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

we paid the deposit and got the key to rent a home in town.
it is 3bd 2bath 1600 sq ft brick hardwood. nice and roomy with tons of closets. we are so very excited. we are currently taking down wallpaper and preparing to paint. we are thankful to friends that have already been helping and thankful in advance to the ones that will hopefully help us as time moves along.
our landlord has been great so far, allowing us to paint and pick our own colors, working along side us alot of the time.
we need to be in a bigger home, we are on top of each other right now. and being in town will save us tons. we are so excited and looking forward to getting settled.

gluten free meeting update

2008-08-18T22:35:00.003-05:00

i had my second attempt at starting a celiac disease support group tonight, and it went very well.
in attendance was a presenter from the hospital, the county wide nutritional director for the school system, the nurse from lacee's elem school, my mom, lacee, 2 other people with celiac, and a new and dear friend of mine (there for moral support for me as well as education for herself).
i feel everyone learned alot and went away feeling more knowlegeable than we were when we arrived.
my most exciting new piece of knowledge is that there is a pizza parlor in franklin tennessee (2 hrs away) that serves gluten free pizza!!!!!! lacee has not had pizza in 2 months. her doctor at vandy also has an office in franklin. this is the website for this restaurant: http://www.matteospizza.com/glutenfree/

you are invited

2008-08-12T12:43:00.002-05:00

I sent this invite out to all the principals of all the county schools, as well as to the county wide food service nutritional lady, inviting all faculty and staff.
I am hoping to raise awareness of this underdiagnosed diease as well as form support for those of us dealing with this.

I would like to personally invite you to attend a meeting on Monday, August 18 at 6pm at the Hardin County Library. This meeting is a Celiac Disease Support Group Meeting.
My child, Lacee Wilson, a 5th grade student at North Elementary, has been recently diagnosed with Celiac Disease. This requires that she must not consume any gluten. Gluten is found in wheat, barley and rye. Wheat is also used in a lot of non-food products like play dough, paint, crayons. etc. that are used in classrooms, as well as personal care products like soap and makeup. Celiac is a life-long diagnosis that can lead to serious complications including cancer if she is not properly avoiding gluten.
Mrs. Patty Stricklin from Hardin Medical Center will be speaking, as well as myself. This will be a very informative meeting that will prove very valuable to you.
I certainly hope you will mark your calendar and make plans to attend.
For more information on Celiac Disease, please visit celiac.com, celiac.org, and glutenfreedom.net.

no mommy no mommy

2008-08-11T18:59:00.002-05:00

for the second sunday in a row, i have taken mark anthony out of church due to his inability to (ok, not inability..his choosing not to) be quiet.
he has found a new best friend at church. mark anthony and cruz share a love of thomas the train. during church they spread their 100's (ok maybe not 100's) of trains out in the floor and the pew between the two sets of parents.
cruz is 5, mark anthony is 3. he really looks up to cruz.
but he forgets to be quiet. and i remind him. and i remind him. and i remind him. and i remind him. and i threaten. then i follow thru.
it is time for communion. first the wafers. "mommy i want a bite. please mommy please"
then it is time for the cups. "please mommy i thirsty"
well i have tried a new trick. bringing him something to drink to keep his mind off the communion cups. it has worked the past few weeks.
well not yesterday.
so, i thought i was smart. i poured his drink in my empty cup and offered it to him. he errupts in a loud sobbing cry.
what else can i do? i take him out, and fast.
but, of course, it is super super quiet as everyone is taking communion, reading their bible and praying. (i suspect they are giving thanks that they are not ME at this point).
does he simply go out of service crying? no.....
he says at least 5 times loudly before i can get out the door..."i dont wanna spankin mommy, please dont spank me mommy, i dont wanna spankin mommy..."
at least everyone knows my children and i were in church, no "we missed you" cards will be in my mailbox this week.

overload

2008-08-11T18:32:00.003-05:00

i am on emotional and stress overload.
i said before i want to keep this blog positive, and i do. but there still comes a time when we all must unload.
i am at that point right now.
we were supposed to be moving this week. moving to town. and not just to any old house, but to my dream home. not my dream home because of the location or the floor plan or the size or any number of reasons one would call a home a dream home. this is my dream home because it is the house my grandparents built. the house i spent alot of my childhood in. the house that was sold when my dad, grandma, and uncle died. sold without my consent. for 10 yrs i have wanted this house. for 2 months we have been in agreement with the current owners. then out of the blue last week they did a complete 180 and the deal fell through. we are heartbroken.
marks mom is progressively getting worse and worse. and though she and i have never had the kushy relationship i would have liked, it still hurts me to see her in her current state. it hurts me more to see mark hurting as he becomes the parent and she becomes the child. it hurts me because she is my childrens grandmother. the only link to marks side of the family other than him.
gas prices are killing us. our finances have never been great, but this summer they have become increasinly worse. now that school is upon us and a minimum of 2 trips to town at the tune of $10 a day, its hitting really hard. then you factor in the rising cost of food and the rising appetites of growing children. and add in gluten free food for lacee. i bought a bag of bread mix to make her some bread. she hasnt had bread in almost 2 months and nearly cried the other day for bread. well, i didnt know i needed an egg separater. today as i was about to open the bag, i see that requirement. i call mark to ask him to bring one home. he cant, he had already given me our last $10 to put gas in the van. i reduced to tears.
i texted lacee's biological dad.--please tell me the child support check is in the mail. he replied..it is..why? i tell him lacee needs gluten free food, she hasnt had bread in 2 months and nearly cried for a sandwich the other day. his response was to let her have one every once in a while. my response was no i wont risk it. now, i know he loves lacee and he means well. but he hasnt studied celiac disease like i have, or he would never suggest such. i am not risking her intestines being eaten away, her skin breaking out with depetitis hermititis, constant diarreha, and cancer. she will not cheat on my watch. i realize when she is away from me there isnt much i can do. but i will educate her and pray she makes the right decisions. this is what we have to do as parents, educate them and pray. pray that they become christians. pray that they choose friends wisely. the list goes on.
i called my mom.--do you have an egg separater? no. why? i tell her the story.
i had planned on doing in home childcare in the new home. perfect size, perfect location. out goes that option for income for now. i do have 1 part time child, and a few drop ins here and there.
i passed up sending in resumes to a few nice looking jobs lately as i had my plan to provide childcare. i also didnt get a job i really wanted either.
yes, i know in the grand scheme of things my issues arent terrible. they could be alot worse. i am grateful mark and i have each other. i am grateful we have our kids. i am grateful for so many things. i am just going through a rough time. our whole family is. i know God has a great plan for us, a better road ahead. but while i am waiting to see the road sign He is sending me, can you offer up a prayer?

marks mom

2008-08-08T21:16:00.003-05:00

marks mom is in the hospital, she has been there for a week and a half now.
they are having small success helping her, but they are not there yet. she has been diagnosed with alzhiemers and demensia. she is not near as scared as she was before she went into the hospital, but she is still a little scared. that is a blessing.
she is, however, more confused than before. we went to see her last sunday. she told us she had been to a big party the night before, then to church that morning. she went out to eat after church and saw her neighbors that live by her in pickwick. it was very hard for mark to see her so confused. he is used to her cutting up and laughing, telling jokes and being silly. he is having a hard time adjusting to her being more quiet and calm and confused. i am trying to help him remember confused is better than scared all the time.
the night before we went to see her, lacee and i stayed up late making her a picture board. her face lit up so much when we gave it to her. more than with any christmas or birthday present i have ever seen her face light up. lacee wasnt able to be with us for this visit, as she had gone to nashville with her friend anna.
mark has been back up there to see her once more so far. the trip is almost an hour, and with our work schedules and the visitation schedule at the hospital it isnt easy to find times to visit. he has spoken with her every day, except one where she fell asleep before he called.
the doctor told mark the other day that she is worse than they had first thought and she will be there longer than they had first hoped, and that once she leaves there the best and most reasonable option for her is a nursing home.
this news was very hard for mark to hear, even though he knew it was true. this is a situation that i have not been in completely. i was 18-19 when my grandmother had to go to the nursing home. she did get the confusion, and only one time did not know me. that one time was enough! i certainly hope that mark never has to experience his mom not knowing him, it is a hard hard thing.
he has made a decision as to which home for her to live in. i hate that he is having to do this. i wish i knew how to help him. i listen to him when he will talk about it and urge him not to hold it in let it build up. i offer to help with the paperwork and other tedious tasks. most importanly, i pray for him. and i pray for her. and i pray for us and our family during this stressful time.

first sleepover attempt

2008-08-08T21:06:00.003-05:00

mark anthony's friend jaden had his mom call the other night, wanting mark anthony to come spend the night. jaden and his older sister were both having a friend over. mark anthony was so excited. i dropped him off at 6pm. they played inside, played outside, they cooked hotdogs, even roasted marshmallows. the plan was to camp outside in their backyard in tents. unfortunately, it was too hot. at 10:30, i got a call to come get mark anthony, he had decided he needed to sleep at his house.
kristi, jadens mom, said he was very well behaved and had a blast while he was there. she thinks if they had not tried to camp out he might not have wanted to come home.
i was hoping for him he would stay all night, how fun! but, he did great, and they will definately try it again.

back to school

2008-08-08T21:03:00.002-05:00

well lacee started back to school yesterday. it is so early, back to school on august 7. luckily, lacee loves school. she was excited to go back and see her friends. she is in 5th grade...so hard for me to believe!!
i could kick myself, as i forgot to take pics on day 1 AND i forgot again today, day 2.
she says she loves her new classes, her new teachers.
i am excited to see what this new school year brings for her.

46455

2008-08-02T10:33:00.002-05:00

i learned the coolest thing the other day!
if you need a phone number, and dont have a phone book around, or dont have a phone book for the city you need the number in, or just dont like to use a phone book... this is the coolest trick.
and, its FREE!
there's not much left in this world that is free anymore.
use your cellphone, and text a message to 46455 (googl) (its google without the e)
such as:
red lobster
florence al
or
mark mitchell
savannah tn
or even
dentist
savannah tn
you get the idea..........
then you get a text (or texts if its several choices) back with the name and the phone number.
isnt that the greatest??
i love it!
thanks to sarah m for teaching this old dog a new trick!!!!

lacee's check up

2008-07-31T09:47:00.002-05:00

lacee had a check up yesterday with her ped gastro.
she is doing really well!
when the celiac was at its worst for her, she had dropped down to 62 lbs.
yesterday she was up to 67.8 lbs.
her highest weight was 69 lbs, so we are almost there!!

a hard day

2008-07-31T09:29:00.002-05:00

yesterday was a long hard day.
marks mom spent night with us tuesday night. for the past several months, she has been experiencing hallucinations--seeing people that no one else sees. these people are not nice to her at all. it has progressively gotten worse. tuesday she was so scared, she couldnt even be alone. we decided it would be good for her to spend the night at our house. i had hoped that she would feel safe here and get a good nights rest, as she has not been sleeping well at all. unfortunately, that was not the case.
wednesday morning, she had a doc appt at 8am. we ended up taking her to the hospital in linden tn. she will most likely be there 10-14 days, to try to get her leveled out and get the people to leave her alone. there are no tv's or phones in the patient rooms, as they want to keep the patients involved in all the activities they have to offer there. we can call her or she can call us after 5pm. there are set visiting hours. i am not sure if the kids are allowed to visit or not. we can hang things on her wall, so i will be making her a poster board filled with pics to hang up. we plan to go up sunday night, if the staff thinks she is ready for us.
at the end of her stay, the staff will discuss with us suggestion options for what to do next.
mark is an only child. he lived at home for 32 years. he and his mom are very close. i can only imagine how hard this ahs been for him. i am so proud of him for being totally honest with himself and the doctors. i am sure it was not easy at all. but he is doing what has to be done, for the health and safety of his mom.
i pray that the treatment is exactly what she needs and is successful.

hide under the church pew

2008-07-29T13:37:00.003-05:00

so mark anthony is potty trained.
i was warned, to an extent, that once potty training had happened, little boys have easy access and complete fascination with certain body parts.
i just had no idea how bad it was gonna be!!!
the past week it has become horrible, in my opinion anyway.
always one hand, most times both, are glued down in the front of his pants. i have tried ignoring it, telling him to leave it alone, telling him not to worry...it isnt going anywhere, telling him if he didnt leave it alone it would fall off and he would be a girl, and my latest attempt..saying "where are your hands?" so that he will pull them out and wave them over his head. its alot nicer to say no matter the crowd we happen to be around. it works for about 2 seconds....5 if i'm lucky.
just this morning, i hear him singing "my wee wee, my wee wee". i look over, and there he sits, reclined back in his giggling elmo chair, with his package pulled out. the whole shebang. leave nothing to the imagination...its all out!
and of course, lacee has a friend over. they are sitting right here too!!! the friend just happens to be the preachers daughter no less!
if sundays sermon is about modesty of little boys, you'll find me UNDER THE PEW!

sick kids

2008-07-28T14:37:00.003-05:00

summer time.
fun time.
sick time?
around this house, yes.
i recently went to the doctor for a shot and meds to clear me up from an 8 week suffering of sinus and bronchittus and upper respiratory infection.
a few weeks later, mark started in with it.
now, lacee is barking and has an ear ache. tommy and mark anthony are pouring green snot like something from a polterguiest movie, and tommy is also barking.
i have them a doctor appt for thursday afternoon.
why so long?
today and tomorrow i am providing back up care for another child care provider. wednesday lacee has an appt - update on her celiac diagnosis with the doc.
in the mean time, i am giving them meds i have around the house, including breathing treatments.

best camper award

2008-07-25T18:36:00.004-05:00

when i got out of the van at the service, lacee's counselor happened to be walking by. she came up to me and said, "your daughter is amazing!" i smiled and said, "awww, thank you". "no, really, she said. she is awesome. she has been the best helper. she has helped everyone, is always smiling, comforted other girls when they got homesick. she is getting the best camper award. all the counselors agreed on her, they all loved her. dont tell her, but you have to stay for awards." "oh ok" i said, nearly crying.
so they had the service and gave out all the swimming awards, sports awards, etc. then the director of the camp came up and said that they enjoyed giving out the fun awards, but now it was time for what he thought of as the biblical awards. they have out awards for best bible student, and the students who had memorized the most bible verses. then he said it was time for the best camper awards.
lacee's counselor, madison, stood up first. she said, "i have had the best cabin this week i have had all summer. if you had a girl in cabin 3 then you should be proud. these girls have been great. (at this point i had to tell lacee to stop talking to mark anthony as i wanted her to listen) i nominated several of my girls, but all of the counselors agreed that it should definately be this girl. she always had a smile on her face, she was willing to help anyone at any time, she was nice to everyone, making tons of new friends. last night she even stayed in the mess hall, missing the bon-fire, to help clean up. she wasnt even asked to do that. (at this point lacee's eyes got big and she looked at me and mouthed --that was me!) so our young girls best camper for week 8 2008 is -- Lacee Wilson!"
everyone clapped and cheered.
as she walked up there, i began to cry. of course, lol.
when lacee got up there, she hugged her counselor and began to cry. madison sat down with her, lacee curled up in her lap, as madison hugged her. this had me and our friend cindy wiping tears away. i asked madison later what lacee was saying up there and she said lacee was just like "thank you so much, i'm gonna miss you so much."
it was such an honor for lacee. our friend amanda, whose blog is linked below, called us later to find out what all nice things had been said about lacee. all of amanda's kids go to msyc, and several of her older ones work there as counselors. she said that the counselors have a meeting and they all talk about the kids nominated for best camper, that they all have to agree that the one chosen should get it, that it isnt taken lightly. i put lacee on the phone so that amanda could congratulate lacee. amanda is such a sweet person, so gifted with words. i am not sure exactly what she said to lacee, but whatever it was was wonderful and brought lacee to tears again and she thanked her.
as moms we all think our kids are wonderful, but it is such a reassuring experience when someone else thinks so too. the fact that lacee was able to make an impact on so many people on such a short amount of time is amazing to me. and she is so humble, so amazed that she got the award. she actually thought she got it just b/c she cleaned the mess hall last night. i said, no baby, it takes alot more than 1 act to get such an honor.
i thank God every day for my children. he has certainly blessed me with 3 wonderful children. he has blessed me with an exceptional daughter. if we could all have the heart that lacee has, this world would be so full of love and caring.

she's home!

2008-07-25T18:16:00.003-05:00

this morning the boys and i went to pick lacee up from camp.
when we arrived they were having the goodbye service. as soon as we got there kara, ali, carli, they came to get the boys. lacee was sitting in the far corner from us, course her friends took her brothers to her, she was so excited to see them, and mark anthony would not leave her side. they sang camp songs, and then the counselors took turn giving out awards for such things as best dive, smallest splash, biggest splash, tug of war, etc. they recognized all the counselors and junior counselors.
at the end of the service, the parents got to sit down (it was hot!) in the shade inside the pavillion and all the campers formed a circle around the pavillion and sung and the service was closed in prayer.
all lacee's friends were hot and tired and exhausted, but all said they had a great time. lacee made lots of new friends, and swapped address and phone numbers with alot of people.
she talked most of the way home about her week.
i am so glad she got to go to camp.
she is already looking forward to going next year!!

church at freed

2008-07-23T23:31:00.003-05:00

tonight george ann, carole, tommy and i went to freed to have church with our campers. they were happy to see us, and even happier to see tommy.
tommy was fussy all evening, so i missed part of the service as i took him out to keep him from disrupting everyone.
lacee said she was having a blast. swimming, hiking, arts and crafts. by no means wanting to come home.
i cant wait to hear all the details friday.
it was great to see her and get a big hug and kiss.
i am so greatful that she was able to go to camp.
mark anthony was excited to go stay with his friend cruz. i chose not to take him with me, b/c he misses lacee like crazy, wants to go to church camp, and i knew i would have a fight on my hands to get him out of there. this was his first time to cruz's house. they also went to church. thanks to cruz's mom, beth, for letting mark anthony hang out with them!

dumpster diving

2008-07-23T23:27:00.002-05:00

you know you have true friends when they will look in their garbage can for you!
as i was leaving george ann and tj's tonight, i realized i didnt have my cell. i went to look for it in my van, in george ann's car, in the yard, in the diaper bag, everywhere. it was missing. then jon brown said, "did you throw it away when you threw those cups away?" ding ding ding! tj looked, and sure enough, there it was. hoooray...my phone!!
thanks, tj, for getting my phone!!!

she called!!

2008-07-22T10:04:00.003-05:00

at 8:51am my phone rang.
it was LACEE!
i have to admit, when i saw her name on the phone, i thought, oh no whats wrong?
"hello"
"hey mom! camp has been fun"
"great"
"can i talk to mark anthony?"
so then she talked to him for a little bit. then it was my turn again.
"ok mom, gotta go clean my area."
"ok baby"
"love you"
"love you too"
"bye"
"bye"
the call lasted a whole 1 minute and 4 seconds. but thats just fine. i heard her voice and i got to tell her that i love her. thats just what this mommy needed!!

gonna be a long week

2008-07-21T21:41:00.003-05:00

ok, so lacee has been at camp for almost 30 hours now.
i havent talked to her, havent gotten a text from her (cells are not supposed to be there, but they let her keep hers just in case due to celiac).
so, i am relieved b/c i am sure it means she is having a great time and not sneaking to the bath house to text me or call me.
but i have never went 30 hours without talking to her!
and no, before you ask, i have NOT called the camp or anything.
and i feel bad b/c i meant to put something in the mail friday for her to get at camp this week during mail call and i forgot. i can still do it tomorrow and she will get it her last day there. i dont know if mail call is a big deal at msyc, it was when i went to colorguard camp. (and i never got anything all 4 yrs..waah)
i am so glad she was able to go and i am praying she is having the most awesome time and that during her devo and bible classes she is learning so much and praying so hard. thats why she is there, to learn to be independant and grow in her relationship with God.
course the mommy in me would love a note to say..hey..
we can go up to freed wednesday night and have church with them and watch a talent show the kids put together, which she insists she will have NO part of whatsoever.
i dont know if we get to sit with them or if they sit together and the parents sit together.
i hope she is making tons of new friends as well as bonding with her friends from savannah too.
and i hope she remembers to use bug spray, they love her sweet self!
the pic is of her making her bed..yep, i wouldnt even help her do that!...of her cabin mates from savannah. there are i think 5 other girls in their cabin not from savannah, and 4 older girls from savannah in a different cabin.
there are several guys from savannah there too.
went i took her sunday, i spoke with the nurse, the main guy, 2 women, and another man, as well as one of her counselors, about her celiac disease. i took her plenty of food to have in place of what they would be serving for times when she cant have what they have. i took a single chicken breast for them to grill for her the night they do fried chicken. i took her a pack of hotdogs, turkey, bologna, cheese, 4 things of yogurt, 2 baking potatoes (the 6 minute microwave kind), 3 cans viennes, bag of baby carrots, small thing of potato salad, and 4 different kinds of chips that she can have. hopefully she will be able to pair these along with what everyone else is having and eat near the same and not have to eat the same thing at each meal. she can have the fruits, veggies, salads, and drinks that everyone else has too, so that will help alot. everyone i talked to was very kind, they really listened and were very accomodating to us, they even let us put her food in a dorm size fridge right in the mess hall so it will be convienient.

alvin and the chipmunks

2008-07-19T19:36:00.005-05:00

alvin and the chipmunks is such a cute movie.
in the scene where the chipmunks have snuck into daves house, and he is meeting them for the first time, alvin is singing a song to dave about his hygiene, or lack thereof.
this is mark anthony's twist on the song, only changing the word dave to daddy.
http://s105.photobucket.com/albums/m207/strawberrygm/?action=view¤t=07-17-08_1054.flv

church camp

2008-07-18T23:12:00.002-05:00

lacee leaves sunday for her first ever church camp!
she is going with alot of her friends, it is about an hour away, and she is really excited.
the only thing i am worried about is the celiac diet. i dont know what they will be serving, and while i know i can and will send hot dogs, turkey, etc to keep on hand, i want her to be able to eat as near the same as everyone else as possible. as in, if they are having fried chicken, i would like for her to have a piece of grilled chicken.
i picked up a storage box, some towels, washcloths, bug spray, etc for her today. she is going shopping with her grandma tomorrow for knee-length shorts (we only have 2 pair of those!).
i am sure it will be harder for mom and brothers while she is gone than it will be on her!

there has to be another way

2008-07-18T22:56:00.003-05:00

mark anthony seems to be recovering from his tonsils, adenoid, and ear tube surgery really well.
except, he has to wear ear plugs every time he gets in the bath or swims. so at least once a day, i have to terrorize him.
it has been 3 weeks now, so i would have hoped that by now he would be used to the idea, that he wouldnt be scared of them, that he would know they didnt hurt him, and that they kept the water out of his ears, therefore making him feel better.
yeah, that would be nice.
he HATES those things.
ear plugs, ear protectors, whatever we try to call them. it doesnt work.
we have him some really cool ones, macks ear plugs for kids. they dont go in his ear, they are like playdo and the just smoosh flat to form a seal. they are bright orange.
when we go back for his post-op with the friendly doc who i had to beat answers out of at the hospital right after surgery, i am gonna ask him if there is another way. can i just forgo the ear plugs and then put a drop of something in there? can i just use a blow dryer on cool after bathing? anything.
my fish boy who loves to swim and bath and shower has screamed every day and it takes him at least 10 minutes to calm down after putting them in for him to enjoy his bath or swimming.

4

2008-07-18T22:54:00.002-05:00

overnight it seems, tommys top 2 teeth have came in.
he has been chewing and acting like he was teething for months now, but nothing would ever show or be felt.
then all of a sudden, there they are!
i can see them, i can feel them.
he is 9 and a half months, pulling up, cruising around furniture and behind push toys, letting go and standing on his own.
its all so fast!!

starbucks

2008-07-18T22:52:00.002-05:00

uggh.
just when i had discovered it, my fave starbucks store is closing!
it is on hwy 64, in oakland, on my way to memphis.
it has a drive thru--perfect for me when i have more kids than hands, which makes carrying hot caramel mocchiatos dangerous.
not that i have been thru there 3 times, not that my business would have saved them from the list of closings.
but it still makes me sad.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/18/starbucks-closure-list-al_n_113646.html

mark anthonys party saturday

2008-07-14T21:56:00.004-05:00

mark anthonys birthday party was saturday. it was a week after his actual birthday. but i wanted to give him an extra week to recover from his surgery. i also didnt want to have it on a holiday weekend.
he had a big party. lacee and i worked hard to decorate it. and it turned it wonderful. he loved it. all the kids that came loved it.
here are some pictures from the day.

i wasnt ready for this

2008-07-14T21:03:00.002-05:00

tonight while leaving a restaurant, a person made a comment about my daddy killing himself.
lacee and her friend were right there. i of course hoped they hadnt heard the statement, but anyone with nearly 10yr old girls knows better.
before we were even in the van, lacee asked me, why did she say my papaw killed himself? did your daddy kill himself?
yes baby he did.
but you said he smoked.
he did smoke, baby, but thats not why he died.
he smoked and drank alcohol, like mamaw vicki.
yes baby, he did, but thats not why he did that. lots of people smoke and drink alcohol and live 100's of years, just not very healthy.
well why?
honey, i dont know why. i still dont know why. i know i wish he didnt. i know he probably wishes he didnt now.
i am crying and i didnt even know him.
i know baby, me too.
mark anthony says...mommy, lacee, why are crying? whats wrong?
its ok mark anthony.
honey, there are things in life we just dont understand. God understands. sometimes people have things going on, diseases, sicknesses, thoughts that make them sad all the time, that can lead them to to that to themselves. i still dont know why he did that.
...
that was pretty much the end of the conversation. i cried the whole way home. this is not a conversation i was ready for. i have never lied to her. i always tell her when someone dies that it was their turn. that only God knows when our turn is, that everyone will die someday but noone but God knows when. i never tell her people died b/c they were sick or in a wreck or whatever the circumstances may be. of course now that she is older she may learn of those circumstances, but i dont want her to think that every illness leads to death or every wreck will kill a person. and i do believe my theory. it was his turn. it will come to us when it is our turn. i have never lied to her about it, just left out the cold hard truth. i wanted to tell her when she was like 15-16. maybe better equipped to handle the thoughts and questions i know she is having or will have when she lays her head down to sleep.
i was about 14 or 15 when i found out that my grandfather killed himself. yes, my daddys daddy killed himself too. like lacee, i never knew my grandfather. my grandfather that chose to end his own life. i know the questions she will have. why? how? where? when? is he sorry? what would he have been like? would we have had fun together? would he have loved me? would he have taken me fishing? would he have taken me hunting? would he have taken me shopping? would he come eat lunch at school with me? would he take me to the beach? would he carry me on his shoulders?
all these things i wondered. as well as how could this happen? why me? why did he not want to wait for me?
all these things i STILL wonder.
i wonder these about my grandfather whom i never met.
i wonder these about my daddy, whom i loved so. yes, we had our fights. boy, we were good at them. but we loved each other and i miss him so. and i know from how much he loved my little cousins, and how much he loved friends of the family's kids, that he would have adored my kids. they would have hung the moon in his eyes. i can imagine all the things he would have done with them. the things he should have done with them.
i can get sad and mad all in the same breath. sad that he couldnt see through whatever had him so down to see the future he was giving up. mad that he didnt fight it enough. mad that the world didnt understand depression enough to warn my daddy that since his daddy had committed suicide that the chances for him to do so were even greater. that medicines and counseling and help wasnt as readily available back then, and that even what was available wasnt in his life.
i know that i will never know the answers to so many questions. it is a hard thing for me, i want to dig. i want to know why a letter wasnt found. i want to know more details of the scene. i want to know what emts, first responders, sheriff deputies, etc worked the scene, what they saw. i want to know what his last conversation with my uncle was. my uncle died 18month later, so i cant know the answer to that in this life either.
i could sit and wonder and worry myself into such a deep hole it would take a major rescue crew to get me out. i have done it before. i try not to do it anymore. it is hard. somedays i dont wanna turn the thinking off. somedays i do.
i just have to trust that God knows what is best. He is taking care of my daddy and my grandaddy now. He is taking care of me and my family now. He will continue to take care of all of us. We just have to trust him and let him.

uggh

2008-07-14T18:10:00.002-05:00

well i am currently at the library.
it is 10 minutes after 6.
my celiac support group meeting was supposed to start at 6pm.
who is here?
me, my 3 kids, a friend of lacee's, mark, and my mom.
i will leave in 5 minutes. discouraged, but not disabled.
disappointed and disheartened.
but i will try again.
next month, one more time.
i will still have dr newhouse come speak.
i will still have a nutritionist come speak.
i will this time invite lacee's teachers, i will invite the lunch ladies from the schools, the daycare owners, etc.
i will publicize it in the newspaper again.
i am glad i didnt get all worked up for this. i didnt print out anything, not even a sign in sheet.
you gotta love savannah.
everybody wants you to help them, but then you try, and no one shows!

equal love

2008-07-14T11:43:00.002-05:00

i have heard it said, and read it said, many times and many places...that the bond between a mother and her son is so much stronger than that bond between a mother and her daughter. i literally have had people tell me that i would love my boys more than my daughter. the thought of that sickens me, to be totally honest. i cant imagine loving any of my children more than the other.
yes, i love them differently. but certainly not more than the other.
lacee and i have a bond...we are both girls. she is my first child. God gave her to me at a time in my life where i could have easily become a burden on what was left of my family and on society. she saved me. she is so sweet, so caring, so loving. she is just like me in that she wears her feelings on her shoulders. she cares so much about others, that she doesnt hurt her friends feelings, that no one feels left out or alone. she gladly gives the last of her snack to her friends at school who may have forgotten theirs, whether it leaves her anything left to eat or not. she is a people pleaser. she wants to please her teachers, her parents, her brothers, her friends, her sunday school teachers, etc etc. there is also a negative to us being so much alike. i can read that girl like a book. i know most all the time what she is thinking, and why. i can predict her like myself. i am sure that the older she gets, the worse this will be for her and the better (i hope) for me. i hope to use this "gift" to help her make better, wiser choices than i did at her age. she is my baby girl, she is my daughter, she is my angel, she is my lacee. i love her more than i can ever imagine.
mark anthony and i have a bond....he is my first son. he came at a time when i was so ready for my family to grow. i never wanted just one child, always knew i wanted more than one. he rounded our family out. he made it even, 2 guys, 2 girls. he is so sweet and kind, when he wants to be. he is so fiesty and crazy when he wants to be. he is predictably unpredictable. he is either 100mph or asleep. he hugs with such strongness, such meaning. and he gets mad with such ferver. he too wants everyone around him happy, prolly so that things will go his way, but still he like to see everyone happy and having fun. he is growing so fast, learning so much everyday. he is growing up too. he has grown up so much since i even began blogging, his fuse becoming longer, his maturity gaining. just as i can read lacee, and cant so much with him..his dad can. i am sure he will not like this either as he gets older. i love to get cuddles from mark anthony. i love him more than i could ever imagine loving a guy.
tommy and i have a bond....he is my baby. he is too young to back talk, too young to argue. for a little while anyway. he smiles when we smile. he smiles to make us smile. he laughs just cuz he can. he tries to dance. he tries to walk. he mimicks our moves and sounds. he can say bye bye and da-da. (he is my only child to say da-da first). he grabs you with both hands, grabs your hair or your ears, pulls you to him, and gives the most passionate love of any baby i have ever known. he is also my most sensitive child. sudden loud sounds, the wrong temperature, unexpected things...they shock and scare him more than any of my children, even more than most children i have kept. i am not sure what that means just yet. he brings out the best in all of us. he is our baby. he is not just my baby. he is lacee and all her friends baby doll. he is mark anthonys real life baby. and he knows it. i love him more than i could ever imagine loving another guy.
i love all my children.
i adore all my children.
i would give and do anything for any of them at any time.
i never knew how it would be.
i cried the weeks before mark anthony was born, not knowing how i could love another child as much as lacee. not knowing how she would handle not being the only child anymore. i cried the weeks before tommy was born, not knowing how we would handle having more children than hands.
and i cried with joy with each birth. and at how easily each child fit into our family.
i am an only child, this whole sibling thing blows my mind. thats why i love to listen to them when they think i am not listening. thats why i love to sit back and watch them. thats why i am who i am. i know how blessed i am to have my children. i hope they know how blessed they are to have each other. i hope they always know this.
of course, then the negatives. i dont understand the fight to the death one minute, love forever the next minute bond that siblings have either. i watch it with friends of mine that have siblings, and i watch it with my own. it amazes me. it scares me. it warms me.
but still, i cant imagine ever loving either of them more than the other. differently yes. more than or less than, never.

early mornings

2008-07-14T11:36:00.002-05:00

i love the mornings. my bedroom is right off of the living room, and i love to lay in bed, listening to my kids play and talk. they think i am asleep, think they are all on their own. mark anthony and lacee seem to talk and get along so much better without me around. and tommy thinks he is just as big as they are. when i am in the room, someone wants to be held or petted. but when it is just them, they are like little big people. they work together, they play, they talk. they are just themselves. and i love it. i keep telling myself i need to hide a tape recorder in the room so that years from now i will still have this to listen to. its so sweet.
mark anthony tells lacee he loves her.
he helps tommy try to build train tracks.
she helps them work together.
he tells her please and thank you.
she doesnt get frustrated and fussy with him.
tommy laughs at the two of them.
its just a sweet, peaceful, innocent time. so i lay in my bed, and listen. yes, i do love my pillows and my comfy bed, thats just an added bonus. the sounds i enjoy why laying there "sleeping" are the sounds i cherish every day.

back in business

2008-07-13T18:08:00.001-05:00

i am looking forward to reopening my childcare business.
we are moving to town the middle of august, and i will begin providing childcare then.
its a passion of mine, providing the highest quality childcare available so that moms and dads can leave their children without worry and the children can have a blast while with me and other little friends.
http://tigercubs38372.tripod.com

meeting tomorrow night

2008-07-13T18:07:00.001-05:00

this article ran in our local paper this week: http://www.courieranywhere.com/index2.php?option=com_docman&task=doc_view&gid=649&Itemid=26
i have had 2 ladies call me from it.
i hope people see the article and come to the meeting tomorrow night.

train stations

2008-07-11T20:35:00.002-05:00

today lacee and i spent nearly 6 hours trying to get things ready for mark anthony's bday party tomorrow. what a good sister!! the only time she complained was when she got upset that something she was painting didnt turn out like she imagined it would. she was upset that it wasnt good enough. never once did she complain about having to do this for him, that it wasnt fair, that she didnt want to be there, nothing. she talked about how excited he was gonna be.
these boys are sure blessed.
even when i got stressed out, she let me have my mini meltdown, she watched, and then she accepted my apology and kissed me when i told her i was sorry for letting her see me get upset.
we painted sides to decorate trailers to become thomas, james, and percy. we painted a james face to play "stick the bee on james nose". we made a craft station, a game station, a train station, and a snack station. we rolled out brown paper and painted tracks on it. (i had envisioned 100's and 100's of feet of this, but didnt end up with near that much paper)
i sure hope the kids come, and they love the party. most importantly mark anthony. we are so blessed with such a fiesty, loving, funny, energetic little boy.

what you feed

2008-07-11T20:28:00.002-05:00

i am working harder and harder on my goal to keep my focus on the positives.
i realize that it is good to vent and get things out of your system, and have several times considered doing that on this blog, or even starting a different one to "fuss" on. but i haven't. i am trying to look at it like this: we all have the little angel guy on one shoulder and the devil guy on the other shoulder. everyone does. we are all human. we have to choose which guy, which part of our lives, will be dominant. which one will live, which one will survive. it will be, of course, the one we feed. so i am not feeding my little red man. not much anyway. he is sneaky, and he finds ways to feed, but i am trying not to help him at all.

mommy trip

2008-07-10T22:11:00.003-05:00

today my dear friend, george ann, and i went to florence. my boys went to drop in care at a local facility, and lacee was at a church youth activity. george ann's youngest, kara, and lacee are bff's and were together.
we went to florence in search of items for decorating mark anthony's party this saturday.
our first stop was target...got kara's bday gift there (she and mark anthony share a bday) as well as some poster boards for his party.
when we came out, my van refused to start. wouldnt even turn over. now it played this game back in feb..the positive line to the battery gets loose and has to be tightned. i called mark, he told me that info, and i went back into target. a nice little guy came out and tried to fix it, but he had no luck. so i called mark back and he took off work and headed to our rescue.
george ann and i walked to the dollar tree, and loved how huge it was....so much more than ours back home.
we were blessed by the weather, not too hot, not too cold, not raining, not windy. just right for being stranded!!
then we crossed the parking lot and headed for zaxby's. i had never been there and had heard how great it was. we got there just in time b/c 15 minutes after we got our food, the place was packed!
mark arrived and fixed the van right as we finished lunch. took him a whopping 30 seconds!! he left the wrench with us, he headed back home, and we continued to shop.
next stop - it's my party. the store is moving, everything 75% off!!! just not much left at all.
got back to the van, you guessed it ... it wouldnt start again! there was a couple getting in their vehicle in front of us, the lady must have thought i was nuts when i walked up holding s wrench and asked if i could borrow her hubby!!
he fixed it again, as i called mark. we decided not to turn it off again. ha! i had never known i could leave my van running and locked, and just take the keychain with the buttons! course as high as gas is, its not a practical idea...but sure was nice to get into a precooled ride!
we went to hobby lobby and wow could i ever get in trouble there!! so much neat stuff!! i found everything else i was looking for, and under budget at that!!
and then we were on our way home. george ann and i had a great day together, we talked about everything from kids to housework to hubbys. it is a rare thing for me right now, a totally adult trip, and we thoroughly enjoyed our trip -- even though we were about 2 hours over schedule!!

listen to each others hearts

2008-07-08T14:14:00.003-05:00

marriage is truly a wonderful thing.
i really believe this.
it is an even better thing when both partners are appreciative of each other, supportive of each other, and listen to each others hearts as a friend, carol barker, recently said.
these are things mark and i have always been....we just for a while it seemed that we lost track of these things.
we let stress, life, work, bills, everthing else step in the way. we never lost each other, just lost the "focus". the focus on each other. on the big picture.
here lately, we have been back on track.
we have been listening to each others hearts.
i really like that phrase.
but its more than a phrase, its a rule to live by.
you can listen to each others words, but we dont always choose to say the right words, or know the right words. we arent always able to say the right words, for any number of reasons.
but if we truly listen to each other, listen deeply, combine what we hear with what we know, realize that there is love and compassion and fear and hopes and dreams... then we can really be there for each other. then we can really be the person God wants us to be. we can be the wives and hubbys, the moms and dads, the friends, the christains that we are called to be.
mark and i have a long and wonderful life together ahead of us.
i am very blessed to have been given such a wonderful husband for myself and father for my children.
i wouldnt be totally honest if i didnt admit that i can loose sight of that, that i can let stress get in the way, that i can get tired of him working all the time and not being able to be here with us and get so frustrated and take him for granted. i do that. i am human. but i am learning and trying and loving and growing.

mark anthony is 3

2008-07-08T14:00:00.003-05:00

mark anthony turned 3 on july 5.
so we carried a cake up to the big celebration on the 4th, so the band and everyone there could sing to him, and share cake with us.
on his birthday, he opened a present from us...tidmouth sheds..the place where his trains live!! later grandma vicki brought him 3 new trains!
i made a sign and posted it by the road so everyone would know it was his bday.
his actual party is next week. i wanted to wait a week to miss the holiday weekend as well as to give him another week to recover from his surgery.
he has argued with us for weeks that he was gonna be 2 forever..not gonna be 3. the day must have changed him, he now happily says he is "free".

happy 4th!

2008-07-08T13:29:00.006-05:00

we had lots of friends come visit us at the camper this weekend!
my friend from high school, kristen, and her hubby jeremy and their 2 boys aiden and dannon came to visit for about an hour friday.
my friend camilla and her hubby neil and their kids abby and briar came and enjoyed all the festivites.
marks friend tim and his girlfriend misty came as well. tim hid from the camera!
we cooked at our camper. we had burgers, dogs, and chips. after hanging out and eating, we walked up to our friends' the edwards' lot, where tons of more people had gathered. we danced, had birthday cake for mark anthonys birthday the next day, and enjoyed talking with everyone!

camper

2008-07-08T12:36:00.004-05:00

i mentioned earlier that we had been blessed with a new-to-us camper.
our family is certainly loving it!
enjoy these pics!

gluten free

2008-07-08T12:21:00.002-05:00

lacee has been on a gluten free diet for over a week now, and is doing great. the only meltdown was sunday after church, our first eating out adventure since being gluten free. she forgot she couldnt get food from the buffet, even though the foods she got were gluten free, the chance of cross contamination is way too high. so she had to leave that yummy looking plate of food. she ordered grilled chicken and baked potato. i had already spoken with the restaurant owner several weeks ago, explaining to her the need to make sure lacee's food doesnt touch gluten items. she personally cooked it for us, just to be sure. how great is that!! brenda is her name, sweet peas is her restaurant. go see them..great food and even better caring service!!
lacee's tummy is so much better, she is feeling better all over, so much more calm and easy going.
the rest of us are feeling better too, we are definately gluten light, and i am learning and cooking and serving meals that are gluten free so we can all eat together!
my first support group meeting is next week, and i cant wait to learn more from others!

finally back to blog again

2008-07-08T12:07:00.002-05:00

i feel like i havent been on here in forever! i have been so very sick that i didnt even have the energy to blog. now, thats really sick! sinus infection, respiratory infection, and then throw in a stomach virus to boot!! whew!
so, since my last blog, my baby boy has turned 9 months! and my oldest son has turned 3!
we camped the past 2 weekends..a great family time!!
so much excitement going on in our lives right now....hopefully i will get to blog about it all right now as tommy naps and lacee and mark anthony are playing happily together!!

forming a support group

2008-06-27T11:37:00.002-05:00

i am forming a support group here in savannah so that people with celiac disease can meet, help each other cope, share recipies and ideas, try new foods, etc.
the first meeting will be Monday July 14, 2008 at 6pm at the Hardin County Library.
the meeting is free and open to anyone interested.
for more information, send people to me at savannahceliac@yahoo.com
i plan to have the second meeting right around the time school starts and invite all the school nurses, principals, lunch staff, nutrition staff, etc and have experts on hand to help educate everyone on the disease.
if you know anyone interested, please forward this info to them.
thanks

mark and lacee

2008-06-26T21:27:00.004-05:00

these two are so silly together!
they place and poke and pester and pick on each other all the time!
these pics are of mark "squishing" lacee on the seats at the play area at the mall.

going gluten free

2008-06-26T21:11:00.002-05:00

i had planned on starting lacee on the gluten free diet right after her biopsy, but her doc said to give her one more week on regular foods, until the results from the biopsy were in.
i got the call today.
negative for h-pylori but there is noticable gastritis and damage from the celiac disease.
time to start the diet.
lacee is staying the weekend with our cousins in memphis, so we will make the change when she gets home.
i am copying and pasting some tips posted on a celiac board.
let me just say that my head is absolutely spinning!!

New pots and pans-exclusive for gluten-free cooking
New cookie sheet
New cooking utensils
New collinder
New cutting board
No using BBQ
New toaster
Complete scrubbing of the microwave
Own container of PB, Jelly, Butter
Squeeze containers of mayo and mustard
-Vitamins
-Toothpaste
-Shampoo
-Soap
-Handsoap
-Lotion
-lip balm
-gum
-mints
-sunscreen
-non-stick cooking spray (some contain flour)
-medicines
Art supplies must be checked
The entire kitchen needs a thorough scrub even things they may not think of like the sugar bowl
Pet food (if applicable) must be checked
Hand washing when taking child to public places
cleaning out their car
what are they going to say when other relatives & friends visit & want to bring in wheaty foods?
games & toys should be washed/wiped clean
wooden blocks to store butcher knives - the crevises will have gluten crumbs & you cannot get them out.
not only empty the sugar bowl & wash it - but the sugar canister as well - because it will also be cross contaminated if she bakes.
put any flour in double plastic bags & then in a sealed container.
change the air filters in the AC/furnace
change the vacuum cleaner bag/dust buster
Include the obvious spaghetti, cereals, breads, cakes & cupcakes, cookies, donuts, etc, but also things they might not think about such as pizza and ice cream cones. And always every kid's favorite, mac and cheese.
Remember: no Play doh
Use the dog poop analogy. No one would handle dog poop directly or indirectly without thoroughly washing everything. Anything that has ever touched wheat has to be treated the same way. An if you can't get it out, such as in the peanut butter or mayo jar, throw it out or at least quarantine it and get a new one.
dish rags
dish towels
kitchen towels
ziploc bags with the zipper, to store things and to take a box
"left over"plastic containers
pot holders
no knife double dipping in pb & jelly
candy/treats
toaster cover for the gluten-free toaster
seasonings
directions
Celiac books... she needs to read beforehand or she won't understand the importance
label everything gluten-free boldly
Wash TV/video games/computer controls/keyboard if needed
scrub fridge/freezer
grocery store sacks from grandma's...don't reuse or carry wheat flour from the store in them
wash grandma's spice/flour/baking cupboards/canisters/containers
scrub dishwasher/toaster oven/silverware trays and utensil drawers/oven
tell grandma its worse than head lice...you can't see them and they are "poisonous"
no cooking/art aprons
keep your child out of the kitchen/garage as much as possible
no table cloths/cloth napkins/placemats
horses? oats/grains/hay

home from surgery

2008-06-26T21:01:00.003-05:00

we are home from mark anthony's surgery yesterday.
it was successful, he did great, and is recovering nicely.
he has been more sore and recovering slower than we had expected...but we can see progress.
they sent him home with pain meds, antibiotic, steriods, and ear drops. we are giving him malox to numb his throat before we give the meds. we gave tylenol as well the first night and morning as he felt warm, but tonight he didnt feel warm so we skipped the tylenol. it takes both mark and i to hold him down and force the meds down him, but it is getting easier each time.
we are very grateful to everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

ladies man

2008-06-25T14:21:00.005-05:00

i love a mall that has a kids play zone.
and wolfchase is one of those malls.
we went tuesday, just to walk and look mainly rather than shop.
they have a carosel, which we rode, but they have an awesome indoor play area.
all three kids enjoyed it. lacee helped her brothers alot, mark anthony probably enjoyed the play items more than any of mine, but tommy had other activities.
he is a ladies man.
these pictures are so cute, and the main little girl after his affections got SO mad at her mommy when they had to leave. she also didnt like it when tommy decided to grab her hair to pull her closer. bless it.

tomorrow is surgery day

2008-06-24T22:01:00.002-05:00

tomorrow morning, we have to be at lebhonuer childrens hospital at 6 am for mark anthonys surgery.
i have worried myself to tears today over the heart murmur issue. i called the ent performing the procedure, and his regular pediatrician, and several friends.
all the docs, and all but 1 of my friends, say it is nothing to be concerned about and that i shouldnt worry.
so, with a ton of prayers and huge hugs and kisses....we will have a successful, uneventful surgery tomorrow morning, and be back at the hotel tomorrow evening.

tooth fairy visit

2008-06-24T21:53:00.002-05:00

the tooth fairy will have to come see lacee tonight (tuesday).
this morning a tooth that she had been working on the night before but couldnt get out just fell out all by itself. of course she is so excited.

who's the cover hog?

2008-06-24T21:48:00.005-05:00

i have to laugh at this picture.
it is proof to my mom that she IS in fact a bed hog and a cover hog.
she likes to remind us all of how my children and i are bed hogs and cover hogs, while in total denial that we came by it honest---from her!
it is a sweet pic though, as rare as it is. this whole trip so far both lacee and mark anthony have wanted to sleep with mamaw. thats a first for mark anthony.
sweet moments to remind us of our grand blessings.

a 10 minute break

2008-06-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

monday night mom and lacee left the pool with the boys before mark and i did.
we stayed in the hot tub together for about 10 or 15 minutes.
it wasnt long, but it was nice, peaceful, and relaxing.
a much needed break.
still, i found myself talking about the kids 90% of the time.
mark and i both agreed that just 10-20 minutes alone like that each night would certainly be a nice stress reliever.

pool time fun

2008-06-24T15:35:00.002-05:00

we are loving the pool and hot tub here at the hotel!

chucky cheese on crack!

2008-06-24T09:40:00.003-05:00

oh my goodness!
we went to a wonderful place on germantown parkway called Ultimate Pizza.
and ultimate it is!
every person who comes in has to purchase the buffet to enter. on mondays kids are only 99cents, so we got lucky on lacee, and both the boys are free. so for 3 adults and lacee at 99cents, it was $30 and some change. which was an awesome deal. there is pizza of every kind, desert pizzas, cobblers, ice cream, smoothies, icies, pasta, cajun rice and beans, baked potatoes, salad bar, and fountain drinks of every kind.
there are 4 different dining rooms to choose from, and a separate party room. the dining rooms are each different themes....a 50's diner, a family room (looks like a living room), a high school gymasium (this is the one we chose), and a movie theater.
you purchase a credit card type thing, for 25cents each, and put money on it. we got one for lacee and one for mark anthony and tommy to share.
and the coolest part, you cant see the fun stuff from the eating areas!!
so after you get your belly full, you go play. it is amazing the things they have. rides, games, bowling, bumper cars, go karts, glow in the dark mini golf, etc etc.
it was wonderful!
clean, nice, fun, wonderful staff, etc.
several of the games give tickets, so then you end with the parents least favorite part...cashing in the tickets for the prizes. but several of the prizes are decent at decent amounts.
i took tons of pics, of course cant get them all on here, but will share some with you.
this is definately a place i would recommend to anyone, and we will certainly visit again and again.

a sweet surprise

2008-06-24T09:34:00.004-05:00

after the appointment with the docs, mark anthony and i headed back to the hotel.
when we walked in the room....guess who was hiding in the bathroom??
MARK!
he had rescheduled his moms doc appt without letting hiim know. i wasnt expecting him to join us until late tuesday night or early wednesday morning.
what a sweet man, to sneak up and surprise us!

heart murmor

2008-06-24T09:13:00.003-05:00

during the visit with the anesthesiologist, he listened to mark anthonys "engine" and said, "you know he has a heart murmor?"
umm, no!
he told me that he does in fact have one, he can hear it.
"should i be concerned?" i asked, knowing that no matter what his answer was i would worry.
he told me i should mention it to his pediatrician at our next visit so she can monitor it, but that it seemed to be beneign, and it didnt seem to be bothering him right now.
SEEMED TO BE BENEIGN??
MONITOR IT??
not bothering him RIGHT NOW??
so that leaves the possibilities that it could NOT be beneign, that it could start bothering him at any time, and that his doc needs to be watching it??
course if you know me well at all, you know my mind is racing, thoughts swirling, heart pounding.
what really bothers me, is the question...why has this not been discovered before now? its not like any of my kids are three-times-a-year-doc-visit kids. we are more like once-or-twice-a-week-doc-visit family. he has seen 3 awesome pediatricans in his almost 3 yrs. he has seen several specialists. tons of nurses. they all listen to his "engine". every time.
mark tells me not to worry, its very common, tons of people are walking around every day with heart murmors.
but my kids arent supposed to be in that group!

elevator rides

2008-06-23T22:30:00.003-05:00

mark anthony loves the elevator here. it is clear on one side, so that you can see the hotel lobby. of course he has to be the one to push the buttons. we are on the first floor this time, but the ride is still required. up to the 5th floor, and back to the 1st. mom rode with us once, green as a frog when it was over. this is the same mom who cant even ride a merry go round or ferris wheel.

i attempted to get pics of the view, but they turned out even worse than those shot through the fence at a ball game. here is a pic of the happy rider. i am also including pics of the lobby.

breakfast buddies

2008-06-23T22:19:00.003-05:00

this hotel offers an amazing free breakfast. this is the same hotel we stayed at last trip to memphis, the embassy suites.

today, mark anthony played and played with a little boy, tristan, that he met last night in the gift shop.

they jumped and danced and ran and hopped. they did manage to sit down for a FEW minutes to attempt to eat apples, and i grabbed these quick shots.

after breakfast, mom, lacee and tommy stayed at the hotel, as mark anthony and i made our way to the pre-op appointment. while we were there, he made friends with a little girl named maya. she is also having her tonsils and adeniods taken out wednesday, so hopefully they will get to play again together then. i didnt have my camera with me on the trip to the doc.

it is so neat the way kids can meet and instantly become best friends, playing and laughing as if they had known each other for ever. social status, geographical location, clothes...nothing else matters. just a smile and a mutual agreement to be friends is instantly made.

God tells us to be like children. I do believe this unbiased acceptance of one another is one example of that.

swimming fun

2008-06-22T22:01:00.003-05:00

we are in memphis, mark anthony has a pre-op appointment tomorrow, and surgery wednesday.

we had supper at macaroni grill and i was pleased to find out that they have a gluten free menu!!

there isnt a ton of options , but there are several.

after supper we came back to the room, and got in our swimming clothes. just as we were about to walk out the door, lacee called, she was at the hotel to join us. (she had spent the day with donnie and debbie at the zoo!!)

she got ready, and off to the pool we went.

i snapped a few shots, afraid to get too many as there was alot of splashing going on and my camera is not waterproof. mark anthony made a new friend, ryan, at the pool, and tommy enjoyed flirting with ryans 4 month old baby sister!! i was so glad to find the float that mark anthony had as a baby, tommy definately is enjoying his turn with it.

mark is still in savannah. he has to take his mom to the doctor tuesday, and then he will join us here. we are missing him, and he is missing alot of fun!

tommy tan't dough!!!

2008-06-21T23:01:00.002-05:00

tonight mark, the boys, and i went to eat at toll house for supper. (lacee is with donnie, they are planning a trip to the memphis zoo tomorrow, and then he will bring her to our hotel tomorrow night)

when mark works 16 hour days, this is our only chance to see each other and since mark doesnt work out of town, i refuse to let my kids go for days without seeing their daddy if i can help it.

i had fed tommy, our food had came, and tommy was bored with the french fries i was offering him. there was no one else in the restaurant (it was near closing time) so our friendly waitress anna offered to take tommy and walk with him while we ate. we were grateful and told her thanks and to have fun!

big brother, on the other hand, was having none of it! "tommy tant dough" "you bring tommy back" "leave tommy lone"

he was so angry and upset.

we kept promising him they were right there, he could see them, tommy isnt going (doughing) anywhere, they were all just gonna play with him.

"i wanna play wif tommy" "i full" and pushed his untouched plate of food away.

after a trip to the potty he had calmed down.

i convinced him while in the bathroom that his grilled cheese sandwich was crying b/c it was cooked just for him and it was so sad he wasnt eating it.

a few crying sounds across the table and we got about 5 bites down him.

soon it was time to pay, and anna was still holding tommy, now behind the register.

we pretended to tell tommy bye, told mark anthony tommy was going home with anna for the night. he ran to tommy so fast, grabbed his little foot and was trying to pull him out of anna's arms. "no no no" "tommy tant dough"

he was breathing fast, so upset his brain was working faster than his mouth so his words were becoming mushed together as he explained how tommy didnt need to go, tommy had to go home with us.

he finally reasoned that if tommy had to go with anna that he had to go too.

it was so funny, so sweet, and so sad all at the same time.

so funny that he was getting so beside himself at the thought of a night without brother.

so sweet that he cared and loved his brother so much that he wasnt gonna let him out of his sight.

so sad that he was so upset, and that we think it was funny.

oh the way we torture our kids.

(i am throwing in a pic from the day tommy was born)

rainforest cafe

2008-06-21T16:59:00.003-05:00

so since we were in nashville, we let lacee choose where to eat that night.

she chose the rainforest cafe at opry mills.

if you have never been here, it should definatly be on your to-do list. even just for dessert, it is an experience everyone should have!

every 30 minutes there is a thunderstorm, complete with lightening and sounds of rain and thunder.

every 15 minutes (i think its 15) either the monkeys or elephants come alive, moving and talking.