equal love

i have heard it said, and read it said, many times and many places...that the bond between a mother and her son is so much stronger than that bond between a mother and her daughter. i literally have had people tell me that i would love my boys more than my daughter. the thought of that sickens me, to be totally honest. i cant imagine loving any of my children more than the other.
yes, i love them differently. but certainly not more than the other.
lacee and i have a bond...we are both girls. she is my first child. God gave her to me at a time in my life where i could have easily become a burden on what was left of my family and on society. she saved me. she is so sweet, so caring, so loving. she is just like me in that she wears her feelings on her shoulders. she cares so much about others, that she doesnt hurt her friends feelings, that no one feels left out or alone. she gladly gives the last of her snack to her friends at school who may have forgotten theirs, whether it leaves her anything left to eat or not. she is a people pleaser. she wants to please her teachers, her parents, her brothers, her friends, her sunday school teachers, etc etc. there is also a negative to us being so much alike. i can read that girl like a book. i know most all the time what she is thinking, and why. i can predict her like myself. i am sure that the older she gets, the worse this will be for her and the better (i hope) for me. i hope to use this "gift" to help her make better, wiser choices than i did at her age. she is my baby girl, she is my daughter, she is my angel, she is my lacee. i love her more than i can ever imagine.
mark anthony and i have a bond....he is my first son. he came at a time when i was so ready for my family to grow. i never wanted just one child, always knew i wanted more than one. he rounded our family out. he made it even, 2 guys, 2 girls. he is so sweet and kind, when he wants to be. he is so fiesty and crazy when he wants to be. he is predictably unpredictable. he is either 100mph or asleep. he hugs with such strongness, such meaning. and he gets mad with such ferver. he too wants everyone around him happy, prolly so that things will go his way, but still he like to see everyone happy and having fun. he is growing so fast, learning so much everyday. he is growing up too. he has grown up so much since i even began blogging, his fuse becoming longer, his maturity gaining. just as i can read lacee, and cant so much with him..his dad can. i am sure he will not like this either as he gets older. i love to get cuddles from mark anthony. i love him more than i could ever imagine loving a guy.
tommy and i have a bond....he is my baby. he is too young to back talk, too young to argue. for a little while anyway. he smiles when we smile. he smiles to make us smile. he laughs just cuz he can. he tries to dance. he tries to walk. he mimicks our moves and sounds. he can say bye bye and da-da. (he is my only child to say da-da first). he grabs you with both hands, grabs your hair or your ears, pulls you to him, and gives the most passionate love of any baby i have ever known. he is also my most sensitive child. sudden loud sounds, the wrong temperature, unexpected things...they shock and scare him more than any of my children, even more than most children i have kept. i am not sure what that means just yet. he brings out the best in all of us. he is our baby. he is not just my baby. he is lacee and all her friends baby doll. he is mark anthonys real life baby. and he knows it. i love him more than i could ever imagine loving another guy.
i love all my children.
i adore all my children.
i would give and do anything for any of them at any time.
i never knew how it would be.
i cried the weeks before mark anthony was born, not knowing how i could love another child as much as lacee. not knowing how she would handle not being the only child anymore. i cried the weeks before tommy was born, not knowing how we would handle having more children than hands.
and i cried with joy with each birth. and at how easily each child fit into our family.
i am an only child, this whole sibling thing blows my mind. thats why i love to listen to them when they think i am not listening. thats why i love to sit back and watch them. thats why i am who i am. i know how blessed i am to have my children. i hope they know how blessed they are to have each other. i hope they always know this.
of course, then the negatives. i dont understand the fight to the death one minute, love forever the next minute bond that siblings have either. i watch it with friends of mine that have siblings, and i watch it with my own. it amazes me. it scares me. it warms me.
but still, i cant imagine ever loving either of them more than the other. differently yes. more than or less than, never.